#once I unpack its next on the list !!!

[read-write-thrive]

saw @tma-thoughts ‘s post talking about not enough butch charles rowland and wanting to see more butch4femme painland and naturally I spent the entire rest of my day brainstorming, researching, and then drawing this time period accurate (to the best of my abilities) butch!Edwin(a? Edie?) x femme!Charles (definitely Charlotte/Charlie)

I have whole spreads of photo references for both of them but in case anyone is interested, Charles is inspired by rudegirl/ska punk/skinhead/punk/goth feminine aesthetics from the 1980s UK (even more specifically by the band The Bodysnatchers) while Edwin is inspired mainly by sportswear for women in the 1910s as well as what photos I could find of teenage girls during that era! in terms of Edwin reading as butch, I wanted to combine the shortest hair I could get away with (for the era and while still reading as Edwin—too 20s reads as too fashion forward which is not the vibe), as well as balance the line between sportswear (which imo reads as butch) and Edwin’s usual fashions. I also kept her makeup-free, accessory-free, and overall more “practical” in her dress to try and read as more butch. something to note that you don’t see here— Edwin is 100% wearing bloomers/trousers either as part of or underneath this skirt. I couldn’t get it to read correctly in the design but I need you to know they’re there lmao

feedback welcome (and further discussion even more so, I’m a slut for fashion history x character design!!!)

EDIT: now part of a series!!! part 2 (more sketches of Edwina); part 3 (lingerie!Edwina); & part 4 (lingerie!Charlotte)

[little-writers-posts]

Something More Between Us (The Milkman x GN Reader)

Author's Note: A short draft that was playing in my mind because of the milkman on TikTok. I hope you enjoy.

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 781

The clock marked 9 p.m., marking the end of my shift as a doorman at the apartment complex where I live. I stretched out on the chair and sighed. At the same time, the other doorman comes through the door to take my place and start his shift.

“Hey, (Y/N), how was your day?” he asked as he started to unpack his things.

“A little tiring, to be honest. Had four residents, plus two without an entry request, and caught six doppelgangers, some more violent than others, but it comes with the job, I suppose.” I said as I packed my things.

“I’m lucky to be on the night shift” he smiled. “I only have three tenants on the list, and according to the DDD all the tenants are in the building except for those.”

“Don’t be careless. Our lives are at stake here.” I warned. “But, you’re right, you’re lucky.” I smiled.

I quickly scanned his list for the night and my heart skipped a beat. Francis name was there, I assume he left for his job as a milkman and, if I remember correctly from my night shifts, he was one of the first to arrive. 

When I started working as a doorman as well as living at the building, one of the perks was to get to know the people who lived in the same space. I always thought that Francis was good-looking, even with those tired eyes. However, even if we do chat a bit at the door or on the occasional bump in the corridors, we never really moved past that. He is a very reserved person and prefers to keep things private, I get that, plus he never seamed that interested in me.

As I was lost in thought, I heard two voices in the entrance lobby and realised my colleague was gathering all the folders to check the information.

“Mmm… Hello” I heard Francis say through the door.

“Good evening mister Mosses” greeted the doorman. “Let’s see…”

I resume my packing, picking up some final things left and reaching for the keys to my apartment.

“All good! You may go.”

“Perfect.”

The second voice reached for the window, “Good evening.”

I rolled my eyes.

“Looking good as always Mr. Gauss”

Once I had everything I left for my own apartment. When I reach the elevator, I saw that Francis was holding the door.

“Oh, thank you.”

“It’s nothing,” he said, “Izaack is also coming so I thought I might wait for both.”

I joined in and backed up against the wall, standing next to him.

“Our prettiest doorman is joining us today, its always a pleasure walking with you” Izaack mentioned as the door shuts, “Did you think about my proposal?”

I sighed for what seems like the thousandth time today. “I am not interested in going on a date with you, thanks.”

“Oh, come on, (Y/N).” He insisted. “It’s going to be fun, I promise. And I’m not just talking about dinner, you know?”

He stepped closer to me. Suddenly, I felt slightly trapped in that elevator. I tried to move further back, but I was already up against the wall. Isaack started to raise his hand to grab me by the chin and possibly bring me even closer to him. However, it didn't come to that. A body came between me and the raised hand.

“Geez, Francis, relax” Isaack chuckled. “I was just messing arround.”

The doors to the elevator opened on the second floor. Isaack was walking out into the corridor, but looked back before the doors closed again.

“You sure can be scary when you’re angry Mosses” He gave that characteristic smile of his. “See you tomorrow.”

The doors closed and Francis moved out of the way.

“Thank you” I whispered to him.

“Hm.” He raised his hand and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Listen, if he ever bothers you again liked that, let me know, ok?”

“Oh, don’t worry, Francis” I said while massaging the back of my neck “He's infuriating, that’s true, and persistent, but I can deal it him.”

The elevator reached the third floor.

“I mean it.” He said while leaving to his apartment. “I… I do worry about you.”

I was about to put the key in the door when I suddenly stopped and looked at him. He stared at me with his tired but expectant eyes.

"I didn't know..." An embarrassed but broad smile appeared on my face "Thank you, Francis, I care about you too, a lot."

He nodded and gave a small smile, turning and heading for his apartment. 

After all, there might be something more between us than I thought.

[loveshotzz]

All I Really Want Is You

older!neighbor!widower! steve x fem!reader chap two/ten - a slow burn series of blurbs - updated every wednesday

Fancy Meeting You Here

chapter one <-

summary: A peek out your bedroom window has you flustered, and a late night run in makes it worse.

wc: 3.1k

warnings: 18+ series for future chapters. no minors! some good ol tension building and ogling 😉

Series Masterlist // Playlist // The tune:

Sunday -

You were able to unpack most of your ‘chaos’ the next day. Fun distractions in every box as you slowly put your life back together one side step at a time. Your A/C was working over time by mid day, the temperature outside almost breaking 90. Stuttering every so often with the heat trying to get the best of it, the sun shines through your window with harsh light directly on your freshly hung Ivy. The intensity of it at its peak in the sky threatens to fry them before they even have a chance to start. 

“Gotta get some curtains,” you mumble to yourself, adding it to the long list of things you already need.  

Licking sticky red lips, you grab the plastic cup you just drained the last of your wine from, the warm buzz of the alcohol making you sweat as you rinse it haphazardly. Water splashes all over the sink before you fill it up to the brim, your bare feet pad with low quick thumps against the wood floor, skin a little slick with every step to your window. 

The Cure’s ‘Just like heaven’ cuts off the loop you had it playing on all day when you get a notification on your phone, but you keep humming along as you step up on the ledge, kicking away the newly added throw pillows. The wrath of the summer sun makes sweat bead at the crown of your hair while the soil absorbs what you give it like it hasn’t been watered in days. A flash of color catches the corner of your eye, stealing your attention to the window.

That's when you see Steve.

He wears red running shorts this time, the color making his bronze skin pop while the black tank top that hangs loose off his shoulders has his arms on full display. The darkened patches from the heat on the front and back of It makes the damp cotton dip to tease the curled hair on his chest that matches his legs. His jog stops once he hits his gate, pulling out his AirPods his shoulders move up and down with his heavy breaths. He looks even better than yesterday, the sheen that covers him making him glow.

That’s when he does it, he takes it off.

Long fingers find the bottom of his shirt as he pulls it over his head, abs flexing when it gets caught at the bottom of his chin for a second. He pushes back his hair with both hands catching that stray that never seems to go away. Cold water hits your toes, a squeak leaving your mouth at the sight.

“Shit, shit, shiiit.”

You set the cup down cursing under your breath and you know you should look away but when you see the dark happy trail that runs down into his shorts you can’t. Not yet.

If he can feel you staring he doesn’t show it when he sits down on his porch swing, the muscles in his thighs bulging against the nylon. He dabs his forehead with his discarded tank top, letting his neck fall slack and his head tilt back using it to shield his eyes when he’s done.

Watching past the point of what feels appropriate you pry yourself from the view suddenly needing the coldest shower.

Wednesday -

Job hunting day was long and hot. Your feet are sore from hours spent walking in the haze of the sun, the bottoms of your converse peeling against the pavement with each step. The trains were more confusing than you’d bargained for, opting for the bus and expecting some reprieve but somehow managed to get on the one that offered you none. Packed tight against strangers in a heat that was somehow even worse than the one outside, you glowered at your feet.

Oh yeah, and you hated that every song on your shuffle reminded you of the man you spent all of ten minutes with.

The biggest glass of wine you could humanly pour calls your name by the time you get to the end of your block. Your pace is quick with annoyance, and the need for A/C is urgent when your thighs start to rub together, stinging in the humid air.

That’s when you see him. Again.

He’s getting out of BMW M6, a dark red one with black trim, shiny with the kind of paint that glitters in the sun like just went through a car wash. The tint of the windows is just dark enough to give you a glimpse at the silhouette of the car seats and the air freshener that dangles over his rear view mirror. He’s fully clothed this time, a white long sleeve dress shirt that clings to him like it’s custom tucked into dark gray slacks that look freshly pressed. The black oxfords on his feet look polished with no scuffs in sight, and when he goes to answer his phone by the bluetooth in his ear the silver of his watch reflects off the light. The look is thrown though by the familiar blue of a Cubs hat, backwards on his head - that loose strand hangs out the front. Ray Bans cover those eyes that a few days ago couldn’t stay off of you.

“Of course,” you grumble to yourself, trying to ignore the hope that starts tightening in your chest.

“Hey Ron! It’s Steve.” The whites of his teeth show themselves in a confident smile that’s not directed at you.

He stops at his mailbox as you reach your gate thinking there’s no way he hasn’t noticed you. You just want him to at least acknowledge you.

He hums in agreement to whatever ‘Ron’ is saying on the other end, throwing in an ‘exactly’ every now and then. You watch as his expert fingers pop the buttons up at the bottom of his sleeves, before rolling them up to his elbows, the muscles in his forearms moving. The few seconds in the heat already getting to him. 

“Don’t worry, I got you seats right behind home plate for helping me make this right on such short notice.”  

He keeps his head down and he sifts through envelopes, humming a ‘no thank you” before the noticeable click and end of the phone call. The metal of your gate seems to creak louder than usual, but the noise still isn’t enough for him to look your way. Not even when your steps mirror each other’s as you both make it to your respective doors. You keep peeking over as you jiggle your lock, silently trying to get his attention. 

He tucks his mail between his teeth as he searches for his house key. A muffled ‘aha!’ when he finds them, quickly unlocking his own door before freeing his mouth to greet Bandit. The sound of his nails pattering excitedly against the floor fills the quiet between you two before the slam of his door.

Friday -

It had been two days since you even caught a glimpse of your confusing neighbor, making it easier to get back to your normal brain chemistry. Instead of running through your first day here over and over again, you focused on prepping for the interview you got called back for.

The bright glow of the moon breaks through the sheer curtains of your room competing with the warmth of your bedside lamp. Your bluetooth speaker is set at a volume that is only meant for you to hear while The Marias Care For You becomes the soundtrack to finally organizing your room. 

You dance a little as you make your way around your space, smiling as you walk past the window. The flick of a light breaks your concentration making you search for where it came from, the regret is instant when you find the source.

You don’t know how it took you a week to realize his bedroom was right across from yours, but the way he’s walking around in nothing but a low slung towel makes you think he doesn’t know either. Water drips from the tips of his hair and down his chest, curling the dark thatch that connects to the happy trail that you’d been teased with earlier in the week. There’s a subtle dip between his hips, a soft V that taunts you.

The books in your hand slip from your grip, the hard spine connecting with the top of your toes. 

“Ouch - fuck!” 

You scream loud enough to duck, scared that your outburst caught his attention while your hands wrap around your foot in an attempt to soothe the pain. You rock back and forth a little until the aftershock subsides. Still too scared to stand, you crawl towards your window to see if your worst fear actually came to life. 

Your fingers rest on the window pane as you slowly let your eyes peek above the wood. He’s not looking at your window, but his towel is now replaced with just as low hanging dark green mesh shorts. His back is turned towards you revealing even more freckles and moles than the ones you’d discovered on his arms and nose. His shoulder blades move as he texts someone on his phone. The glow of the screen lighting his face in the reflection of the mirror over his dresser.

You groan as you slink back, laying on your floor with a huff. Staring at the ceiling with a sweaty palm on your forehead, the image of him in the towel is etched in your mind, making your blood run hot. You’ll need better curtains for your bedroom too.

Trash, you’ll take out the trash.

There’s a chill with the breeze when you get outside, the humidity disappearing with the sun for once. The street lamp flickers over the alleyway, the glow of the full moon doing more to light your path. Goosebumps dance over the exposed skin of your legs, while you keep your eyes on your feet as you move over the uneven ground. completely focused on not rolling your ankle again, you don’t notice the sounds of sports highlights getting closer.  

“God, of course he choked— umph!”

Steve’s voice catches your attention too late for you to stop the slam of your face into the hard muscles of his chest. The sound of glass breaking in your trash bag echoes loud through the quiet when you drop it next to your feet, quickly followed by the skid of his phone. Your cheek bounces lightly off of him, the material of his gray shirt soft against your skin. The hair hidden underneath is still wet enough for you to feel the way it dampens the cotton, while the mint and pine of his body wash overwhelms your senses. His hands find your hips to steady your balance, fingertips accidentally brushing the top curve of your ass when they spread wide to get a grip.

“Whoa! Easy tiger.” There’s a smirk in his words and tobacco on his breath, the heat of it fanning across your face.

Your eyes finally meet the greens of his and the golden specks are just as easy to get lost in as the first time. There’s less peppered stubble covering the sharp edges of his features, the shadowing of it signaling that he must have shaved since the last time you saw him. The moon reveals a new set of moles that sit like vampire bites on the underside of his jaw, a placement that makes you wet your lips. Your heartbeat pulsing through your fingertips wrapped in his shirt. His grip on your hips stays unwavering while he takes in your face like he missed something he didn’t know he lost.

The sound of a car honking signals its presence down the alley breaking you two apart, the headlights making you squint when they hit your line of sight. His hands drop quickly and you untangle yours, taking a step back as the car drives past at what feels like a snail's pace. There’s a beat of silence before you clear your throat.

“Fancy meeting you here,” you offer as a bad attempt at breaking the ice. It makes him snort a little, sidestepping you briefly to grab his phone that landed on the gravel next to your feet. The score of the Cubs game is still playing from the small speaker. 

The low light conceals the way your eyes wander when the back of his shirt rides up as he bends down. The baseball game drowns out the sound of you swallowing hard when you don’t see an outline of briefs under his shorts. He clicks the button on the side, cutting the sportscast off abruptly and for the second time you wonder if he can hear your thoughts.

He smirks when he brings his attention back to you, almost missing the way his gaze wanders around your curves when he drops his phone in his pocket.

“You’re telling me, I thought this was an exclusive spot.” He laughs, nervously scratching the back of his neck.

There’s a beat of awkward silence this time.

“Well, not gonna force you to chat. Have a good night Steve.” You try not to let it show how much it bothers you as you pick your trash back up.

“How’s your ankle? Did the ice pack help?” He blurts out before you can walk away. 

You stare at him for a second, eyes raking over his face as you try to decipher his mood swings.

“Yeah, it helped a lot. Thank you.” Your smile is small but it makes his whole face light up. “Tell Bandit I said thanks too. Maybe give him another kiss for me.”

You watch the way his ears turn the rosy color of his cheeks as he looks down, kicking the rocks at his slipper covered feet.  

“I’m sure he’ll be very appreciative of such a kind gesture.” He looks at you from under his lashes, the playful spark from the day you met slowly coming back.

“I hope I didn’t do anything last week to make you uncomfortable - “ you start out, determined to address the elephant in the alley between you, and his eyes get big when he finally registers what you’re saying. 

“What? Uncomfortable? No, honey - look, you didn’t do anything to make me run off like that. There’s some things about me that you don’t know, it’s just - I’m sorry,” he huffs out, shoulders slumping defeated when he realizes how he’s come across. 

“I’m just trying to make some friends around here. Thought I had one in you and Bandit, but I guess not.” You try to lighten the shift in his mood when you look up at him with an exaggerated sullen face, and it works when the whites of his teeth start to show, eyes crinkling at their corners.

“We can be friends.” He chuckles with his signature nervous tick, long fingers running through damp hair. “Bandit can be a little high maintenance though.”

It’s your turn to laugh, a giggle bubbling past your lips and Steve thinks it’s one of the prettiest sounds he’s ever heard. He wants to make you do it again. 

“I think I can handle him, it’s his owner I have to worry about.“ You roll your eyes before you peek over at him with a smirk.

“That old guy next door? I heard he’s pretty lame, you might give him a big head if you wanna be his friend.” He lays it on extra thick by taking the trash bag from your hand, walking the few short steps to the dumpster for you. 

He tosses it in with ease, his shoulder blades moving under his shirt. The lid closes loudly,  drowning out the way your heart is trying to jump from your chest when he makes his way back. 

“That was a very friendly thing for you to do, Steve. Thank you,”  you tease, making him snort at your bad play on words. 

“Gotta make myself indispensable, tough girl.” He winks not missing a beat, lips stretching into that million dollar smile you saw him give on the phone the other day. Only this time it’s just for you.

“Well you’re really starting to build your case.” You bite your lip to try to hide the way you want to mirror him.

“Oh, you’re not gonna be able to get rid of me with good conscience.” He stops in front of you, eyes meeting yours like they did the first time. The smell of his body wash takes over again while the stray he’s always pushing back makes a reappearance. “Do me a favor though? No more taking your trash out this late. At least not alone.”

“Are you going to come over and help every time I need to take it out past nine?” You grin, crossing your arms, only half way teasing when you see a rat scurry by.

“What are friends for?” He shrugs, playing along with ease, whatever nerves he was battling with before retreating when his smile turns lopsided. The rake of his fingers through his hair seems intentional this time, especially when he licks his lips.

You wonder if he can hear the flaps of butterfly wings in your stomach, or how your breath hitches.

“Already working your way to best friend status Steve, careful,” you warn, trying to hide your nerves in humor and it works, earning a full belly laugh from him.

“Have a good night honey. I’m right next door if you need anything.” His hand reaches out as if  to touch your arm, but he pulls back at the last minute, fingers flexing looking for that ‘missing’ ring again at his side.

“See you around, Steve.” You smile warmly trying to save him from whatever internal spiral you saw him trying to fight off again.

Your touch is gentle when you do what he was too scared too. His skin is warm against your palm, the muscles moving underneath the simple gesture. You trace the pad of your thumb over the same cluster of freckles twice before you let go with a squeeze, heading back to the wooden gate that closes off your shared backyard.

He doesn’t answer till you’re almost all the way through.

“I hope so!”

The smile that spreads across your face can’t be contained any longer, hidden from him when your back presses to the wooden door as your gate latches closed loudly behind it. You wait until you hear him get inside, silently trying to decipher whatever he was mumbling to himself the whole way there but failing.  

You can’t help but replay the whole interaction back in your head as you make your way back upstairs, trying to manage your expectations. The words ‘there’s some things about me that you don’t know’ stick to the front of your brain like glue, just like the word ‘friends’.

You avoid your bedroom window for the rest of the night, and vow to get better curtains in the morning. 

beta’d by @superblysubpar

dividers by @newlips

---

----

chapter three

[speedycoffeedelight]

An Animalistic Disaster

Summery: Where Charlie ignores Vaggie's warning once again and falls into a disaster

Master list

CH- 2 : The golden book

*Back to the present*

You released the sheep on the kitchen floor as you went to your fridge. 'Wait, sheeps do eat lettuces right? I think they do..' you thought as you picked up some lettuces that you were saving for salad. You made sure to properly wash them before putting it on a bowl and giving it to the sheep. As for the moth, you cut a bit of orange that you had and put it on a small plate near the moth.

Charlie was looking around and trying to take all of your room in. She was suddenly painfully aware of how small she was and how big everything looked. For Vaggie it was worse. She was trying to take everything in too but the light bulb in the room was far too distracting. They told each other what they were while coming inside. Charlie was squealing in joy to learn she was a fluffy adorable little sheep, though a bit worried on how to turn back.

Vaggie on the other hand, was not happy to learn at all that she was a moth now. She was small and weak now and can't do anything to help herself or Charlie. Plus being a moth came with its disadvantages. Like right now.

'damn light bulb....'

With a click you put down the plate in front of the little sheep wondering around. The sheep started to eat it rather quickly and you chuckled looking at it.

You looked around to find the moth on the orange bits you put out. You decided it's time for you to eat and pass for the day. You were tired as hell from unpacking today. You can start working tomorrow.

You just warmed up some foods that were prepared beforehand. While washing your dishes you felt a poke at your leg. You looked down to see the little sheep staring up at you.

"Aww, has my little ewe finished eating? Don't worry dear, I'm giving you a spot to sleep soon." You said while walking over to pick up the bowl and plate." Just let me finish washing these real soon"

After cleaning them you quickly took out a big ass basket that you had in your room. You took out your stuff from there and placed a soft pillow there. You then picked up the sheep and put it there. And behold, it fit perfectly!

"Sleep here darling, it's comfy no?" You said while petting the ewe again and feeling it fluffy wool. 'thank you for doing these for us!' Charlie wanted to tell you but all she managed was a little Baa.

"I take that you like it then?" You said smiling. The moth from before suddenly flew over and sat on top of the sheep's wool.

"Hey look your little friend is here too. Sleep tight both of you" you said as you got up and went around the house making sure everything was locked properly since you've living alone now.

You moved to your own bed after finishing some small things you needed to do and prepared to sleep. As soon as you layed down, exhaustion quickly caught up to you leaving you knocked out soon. Charlie and Vaggie soon followed being exhausted by today's turn of events as well. You slept in peace knowing you made two small friends today.

However, that peace was broken when you woke up to loud barking the next morning.

(image not mine!!)

[absurdthirst]

New Year's Second Chance {Javier Peña x F!Reader}

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 18.5k

Warnings: Animosity, hostility, heartbreak, technically step-sibling relationship, angst, domestic violence (one slap), smoking, hate sex?, idiots in love, fingering, vaginal sex, rough sex, oral sex (female receiving), hints of anilingus, biting, mixed emotions

Comments: Coming home for the holidays was not. something you were looking forward to. Especially not when you realize that Javier Peña will be there. Your mother is happily married to his father, but you hate Javier. For a good reason, or so you think

A/N: Happy New Year!!!

Co-written with @storiesofthefandomlovers

**Follow @absurdthirst-writes and turn on notifications to stay up to date on all new fics.

|| MasterList || Javier Peña MasterList ||

Click Keep Reading only if you have read the Rating and Warnings and understand the warnings may not be complete to avoid listing spoilers. As AO3 says 'creator chooses not to use warnings'. You also agree that you're the right age to be consuming anything here.

“Welcome to Laredo.” You groan as you drive past the sign of your hometown, feeling a little sick. It’s the holidays and you’ve tried to stay away for as long as possible but you ran out of excuses. Your mom is married to Chucho Peña. Has been married to him for a few years and you have successfully avoided the wedding, the holidays, and every event in between. Your work overseas has provided a bounty of excuses but now, you’ve been reassigned back to the U.S and the lie has run its course. You offered to stay in a hotel but your mom insists on you staying at the house. Once you’ve pulled up outside the Peña ranch, your mom comes rushing out, screaming your name and wrapping you in a hug that you can only describe as coming home. You smile and breathe her in, “hi mom.” 

She grins when she pulls back to look at you, her eyes a little watery. “Come on, let’s get you inside. You must be hungry and tired after all that traveling.” She ushers you in and you look around, “where’s Chucho?” You ask and she smiles, “he went out to get some things.” 

You nod and she gets to work on making you something to eat. You just finish your sandwich when the garage door opens and Chucho walks in, setting the grocery bags on the counter and you stand up. The old man grins and wraps his arms around you. You've always liked him. Your dad died when you were young and you worried your mom would be alone until she struck up her friendship with Chucho at a grief counseling meeting at the local church. He put the light back in her eyes and you thank him for that. “It’s good to see you.” You murmur when he releases you and you don’t see the younger Peña until he says “what? No hug for me.” Your hackles go up, your spine straightens, and you swallow harshly. “What the hell is he doing here?” You ask, knowing that your mom told you he was still in Colombia taking down the Cali cartel.

Javier frown. Unsure why you hate him so much. “Honey, be nice! Javi just got back earlier. He wrapped up his little case so he flew in to join us.” Only your mom could call taking down one of the biggest drug cartels a “little case”. 

“That’s great.” You say sarcastically. “Glad he could make it.”

Javier huffs, setting the bags he was carrying down on the counter. “Don’t worry, Chiquita. I’ll be down the hall for the next two weeks.” He smirks, “maybe longer. I ain’t got nowhere to go now I’m back from Colombia.” He goads you and you want to stomp your foot like a child. 

“Gee, that’s great. One big happy family.” You sass, “aren’t we lucky?” You ask your mom who raises her eyebrows at you in silent warning. You didn’t know Javier would be here. If you did, you would’ve avoided coming back to Laredo for another three years. “I am going to take a shower and get unpacked.” You declare, asking your mom which room you’re staying in and she glances at Chucho before she shows you down the hall to the room you’re staying in. The one right next to Javier’s childhood bedroom.

Growling to yourself, you toss the bags down onto the bed and sigh. You hate Javier, can’t stand being around him. Arrogant and prideful, cocky and worse - a womanizer. Man thinks that he can flirt with and fuck any woman he wants and it’s disgusting. If you hadn’t promised your mom that you would stay through the New Year, you would be heading back to the airport right now. As it is, you will just have to ignore Javi. No doubt he will be too busy plowing through the single and unhappily married women in town, if he didn’t fuck them the last time he was here.

Chucho tuts as Javier glares at where you just stood. “What’s the issue between the two of you?” He asks and Javier shakes his head. “I don’t even know, Pa. We were friends. Back in the day and she - she just turned one day and was mean to me. I don’t even know what I did.” He confesses and your mom raises her eyebrows, knowing his reputation even back then. “I swear, I have no fucking clue.” He shakes his head, but he knows that he won’t put up with your shit.

In your room, you unpack quickly and decide that you want to take a shower. Knowing that you hadn’t been very cordial to Javier, but you don’t have it in you. You want nothing to do with him, and you’re stuck with him for the entire holiday. You’ll just be as pleasant as you can and your mom will have to realize that her fantasy for a family holiday is nothing more than a pipe dream.

Javier decides to settle back into his room. He only arrived back a couple of days ago and he hasn’t had a chance to unpack with the whirlwind of chores his Pa had assigned to him as soon as he arrived back in Laredo. He decides to shower before he heads out with his Pa to get the shopping list your mom assigned for dinner and he does like your mom. She’s been good for his dad. Makes sure the place is clean, that he has a homemade dinner, and that he is happy. His Pa looks after your mom, loves her, and that makes Javi happy. He feels better knowing that his dad is happy. Deciding to shower, he grabs his toiletry bag and heads into the hallway, opening the bathroom door and he’s shocked when he sees you standing in the shower.

You squeal in surprise when the door opens and grab the shower curtain to rip it around your body. “What is wrong with you?” You scream when he doesn’t immediately turn around and leave. “Close the door!” It infuriates you that you haven’t been here an hour and Javi is already pushing boundaries and pissing you off. You wish you had never come here.

Javier slams the door shut, his eyes wide and he realizes this is gonna be a long two weeks around you. You used to be friends. Good friends. He doesn’t know what happened. Kinda chalked it down to you being jealous of Lorraine when he got with her and proposed and then he went to Colombia after that shit show. Which was strange since you had stood him up the night he got back together with her the last time. Heading back to his room, he decides to wait until you’re done before he attempts to leave the sanctuary of his room.

Locking the door, you turn on the shower and climb in. Closing your eyes and sighing as you lean against the tiled wall. Fuck. Why, why, why, do you have to be stuck in this house with Javi? The bad thing is that the bastard looks good. Colombia hadn’t been bad to him. He’s more handsome than ever, maybe a little worn down, but he still looks good. That pisses you off more than anything. You remember being so fucking excited that night and then so heartbroken.

Javier sighs when he hears you leave the bathroom and close the door to the guest room. He makes his way into the bathroom and it smells like your body lotion. He inhales deeply. His cock twitching at the thought of smelling it on your skin. He turns on the shower and gets in a few moments later, cursing the fact that his cock is getting hard

After getting dressed, you feel better, leaving the guest bedroom and going to the kitchen. “Okay, I’m unpacked and feeling better after a shower.” You promise, giving your mom another hug. “I’ve missed you.” You tell her, even though you’ve avoided coming home in order to not see Javi since your mother got involved with Chucho.

Your mom smiles, kissing your cheek. "I missed you so much baby. So much. I - it's been so long. I feel like it's been a lifetime since I last saw you. You - I've been married to Chucho for three years." She reminds you of your absence.

You had known she was going to guilt you. “I know mom, I’m sorry, I’ve been busy with work.” You tell her. It’s not a lie, you just don’t admit that you asked for assignments during the holidays so you didn’t have to come here. “I’ll try to do better.”

Your mom nods, knowing you’ve been busy. “Why are you and Javier butting heads? You used to be good friends. What happened?” She asks with a concerned frown. Before you can answer, the man in question comes into the kitchen, hair wet and buttoned slightly open as he opens the fridge to grab a bottle of beer.

“Nothing.” You shrug slightly, not willing to give Javi the satisfaction of knowing that he still here under your skin. “We’re just….different people.” You settle for that and ignore the snort as he twists open his beer bottle and takes a swig.

Your mom frowns but nods, not wanting to escalate the issue when you’re in front of Javi. She doesn’t understand why you’re mad at him after so many years of not seeing him. “So…are we going to go grocery shopping?” You ask your mom who nods and Javi smirks, kinda wanting to push your buttons. “I’ll come with.” He says and smirks when you huff.

“So we’re buying cigarettes and booze?” You snort, rolling your eyes. “I think that’s about the limit of your cooking abilities, right?” You have no hope that he had learned any skills since you last ate with him.

Javier snorts, “you ain’t wrong there, sweetheart. Can make toast and eggs for the ladies that spend the night but that’s about it. I’m hopeless.” He declares and sips his beer after opening it.

You grind your teeth, irritated that you are affected by that. “Probably want them to make you breakfast.” You huff, looking over at your mom again. “When do you want to go? Might as well get it over with since we will have a tag-along.”

Javier smirks, loving how he can annoy you. He is going to take great pleasure in doing it again and again during your visit. “We can go now.” Your mom suggests and Javier nods, downing the bottle of beer until he’s tossing it in the trash and adjusting his too-tight jeans. 

“Let’s go ladies.” He says and winks at you as he makes his way out into the garage.

“Kill me now.” You huff, rolling your eyes. You shouldn’t have come, you should have known that Javi would be home since he had been suspended. Grabbing your purse, you go out into the garage. “Oh hell no.” You shake your head when you see him sitting in the passenger seat of your mom’s Buick. “I sit up front. You get your ass in the back.”

Javier looks at your mom, giving her those puppy eyes that always got him what he wanted as a kid. “Oh honey, just get in the back.” Your mom says and you growl under your breath while Javier gives you a victorious grin. Your mom is soon driving away from the ranch, you grumbling in the back, and Javier smirks at you in the mirror, loving to see you so annoyed.

You don’t talk on the way to the grocery store, sulking in the back seat like a child and even crossing your arms at one point. You hate Javi, hate him. “Fucking ridiculous.” You mutter to yourself.

He bites his lip to smother his chuckle, loving how annoyed you are. And when you arrive at the store, Javier gets out and grabs the cart for your mom. “Thanks sweetheart.” She smiles at him and you follow along, arms crossed and brow furrowed. 

“Is that Javier Peña?” A middle aged woman asks and comes over with a grin on her face. “Oh boy. You’ve grown up since you used to mow my yard when you were seventeen.” She says with a blush and Javier chuckles, “all grown up now, Señora Alvarez.”

“All grown up and no manners.” You mumble under your breath and walk over to the bananas to make sure there are plenty at the house. You eat one every morning for potassium. Javi and the old woman continue chatting and pretty soon you hear a girlish giggle from the older woman and roll your eyes. He’s obviously turned on the charm and started flirting with the elderly woman. There’s no one he wouldn’t flirt with apparently.

Your mom rolls the cart over to you and nudges your arm. “He is kinda cute all grown up. He’s not as flighty as he used to be. Always seemed to feel like he struggled to keep his feet on the ground in one place. I guess going to Colombia cured him of the travel bug.” She guesses, “suppose that’s why he didn’t marry Lorraine.”

“Good for her.” You snort. “She got lucky. I can’t imagine she would be happy with her husband trying to lift every skirt he sees.” You don’t know why he didn’t marry Lorraine, or why you should care. It’s nothing to you.

Your mom nods, “she wasn’t happy when he left her standing at the aisle and had his friend Frankie give the bride a note detailing his departure to go to the DEA academy. Guess she was against him going. Wanted him to stay and work in her daddy’s construction company. He wanted to do something for the world and she got stood up. Guess they met in some bar…the Old Rodeo.” Your mom recalls the story Chucho told her.

“Yeah….” Your nose curls at the name. “It’s a shit bar. Nothing but losers went there.” You remember the bar pretty damn well, but your mother doesn’t know that. “Anyway…. I don’t care about Javier. Tell me how you are doing?” You beg. “How are things with Chucho? Is he treating you right? If he’s not, I’m going to have to talk to him.”

Your mom smiles the type of smile you have when you’re totally in love. She looks giddy. There’s a light in your eyes that you’re kind of jealous of. “He’s amazing. Sure, we have little disagreements, mainly about him doing too much damn work. But he’s so kind and caring. He loves me and we both agreed that our marriage would never be compared to our previous ones. Your dad was the love of my life and Maria was his but…I love him. He makes me happy.” She promises with a girlish giggle.

“That’s all that matters.” You murmur softly. Despite your feelings about his son, Chucho is a good man and your mother deserves to be happy after so much time. You had told her that she couldn’t be a widow forever, she lost your father way too young to spend the rest of her life alone. “I hope I can find someone who treats me that way one day.” You frown slightly, remembering the last girlish crush you had and how those hopes and daydreams had been crushed. Shaking yourself out of it, you shrug. “What all do we need to get? Are you having a New Year’s party this year?” Your entire childhood, your parents had thrown amazing New Year’s parties, rivaled by none in your opinion.

Your mom smiles, “yeah. Chucho and I decided to continue the tradition. His nephew Danny is gonna bring a tent over to set up in the back and my friend Ellen is going to cater. I’m getting too old to do the food all by myself. Plenty of booze and food and one of the local kids is going to DJ.” Your mom says, knowing this year will be the best yet. “For now, we need to get a ham, potatoes, all the usual. Oh and a dessert or two. I was thinking pie.” She says and glances around, “where did Javier go?” She asks and the man in question appears with a six pack of beer and a pack of condoms. “The essentials.” He smirks at you and you scoff.

“I do not want to hear the pathetic faked moans of whatever floozy you bring home.” You point at him. “I swear to God, Javier, if you wake me up, I’ll kill you.” You promise hotly. You can’t even imagine having sex at your mom and Chucho’s house, just a respectful thing. Granted, you hadn’t had sex in a long time, a really long time, but still. Javi smirks and you roll your eyes. “So is the beer for the girls to get drunk enough to want to have sex with you?”

Javier chuckles and shakes his head, “it’s for refreshment after they lose their voice from moaning too much.” He’s messing with you. Like he’d bring a woman back to the house with you next door and his dad and your mom down the hall. Absolutely not. He chuckles when you wrinkle your nose and he leans in closer while your mom inspects the vegetables. “You just wish it was you in my bed.” He taunts you, wanting to wind you up even more.

You cut your eyes over at him and sneer. “In your fuckin’ dreams, Peña.” You huff. “I wouldn’t be in your bed if you paid me. And I heard there was quite a bit of payment in Colombia.” You smirk. “Expensing out getting your dick wet.”

Javier narrows his eyes, “saved lives. Took down Escobar. That’s all that matters in the end.” He hisses, still sensitive about getting sent back before he could be the one to slap the cuffs on the bastard. “Besides, I doubt you’ve had anyone come near you with that sour face.” He spits, getting defensive.

It cuts deeper than you imagined and you hate how he can still get to you after everything. “At least I can say that anyone who fucked me did it because they wanted to. I didn’t pay and I don’t give a shit what you think of me. Your opinion means shit.”

Javier growls under his breath just as your mom comes over with the chips. “Everything okay?” She asks and Javier grins, “just peachy.” He says to her and she frowns slightly. 

“I’m gonna go get some things.” Javier says, stalking off and away from you before he says something else.

“Are you two fighting again?” Your mom asks, exasperated by the angry tension between the two of you. 

“Nope.” You shake your head and turn to see someone turning onto the aisle and you freeze. A flashback to years ago running through your mind. A petite blonde rushing up to Javier and jumping into his arms with a squeal and an enthusiastic kiss. Your stomach knots up and you grab your purse. “I - I need to get some air.” You manage to choke out before you turn and run away. Not wanting to see the woman Javi had thrown you over for.

“Lorraine?” Javi chokes a little at seeing his ex. Sure he’d seen her at Danny’s wedding but that was a few years ago. 

“Hey Javier.” She says stiffly, still pissed at him for jilting her despite having her family and rich husband. 

“How you been?” He asks, shifting from one foot to the other. 

“Good. You’re with her?” She jerks her chin at your retreating form and Javier sighs, shaking his head. 

“She still hates me.” He reveals and Lorraine scoffs, “she didn’t used to.” 

Javier nods, heart aching a little, “yeah, well, it was good to see you. Happy Holidays.” He says and stalks off to find your mom who had left him to talk.

Out in the parking lot, you bite your lip and lean next to the car. Digging into your purse for a cigarette, you had sworn you were quitting, but you need one. Actually you need a stiff drink but the smoke would have to do. Suddenly thinking about memories better left buried. 

**** 

“So you wanna go out? The Old Rodeo?” The easy smirk in Javi’s face makes your cunt clench. There’s nothing good in that smirk and you love it. “Get something to eat and a lot to drink?” He winks outrageously and does this little move with his thumb around his mouth to bring your eyes to them. Not that you don’t often think about kissing him. “See what happens? I’m crazy for not asking you sooner.” 

It’s what you’ve always wanted to hear and you know you are putty in his hand. You always have been, but friends are what you’ve been until this moment. “Of course we can.” You hum, grinning. “I’ll find out what drives the women crazy about the area Lothario.”

Javier remembers that night. The night he was supposed to meet you. He was ready to tell you how he felt, see what happened between you, but you hadn’t shown up. Lorraine approached him that day, his on again off again girlfriend that was off on the day he asked you out but seeing her that afternoon, she wanted to give it another chance and he went with what was comfortable and known after you had blown him off. He was terrified to fuck up your friendship and he was going to tell you that. To explain it, but you didn’t answer your phone and you never let him explain what happened. He regrets that day, regrets going back to Lorraine who ultimately found out on their wedding day why Javier was supposed to meet you. He couldn't marry her. Not when he was in love with you back then. You hate him now and he pretends to hate you.

By the time your mother comes out, you’ve crushed your cigarette out and spritzed yourself with some Sweet Pea body spray. Even though you’re a grown ass woman, your mother doesn’t know that you used to smoke and when she pushes the buggy closer, you shove a stick of gum in your mouth. “Please tell me that you didn’t pay for his beer and rubbers?” You ask your mom, taking the keys from her and opening the trunk.

Your mom shakes her head, “that’s all he got, sweetheart.” She explains just as Javier comes out of the grocery store and over to the car. 

“Thanks for getting those things.” Javier says to your mom and kisses her cheek before he starts to load the car.

Huffing, you roll your eyes and barely resist the urge to slam the trunk closed on his hands. Instead of commenting, you place the eggs and the bread on top and take the cart. “I’ll return it.” You mutter, more for your mother than Javi. You just know he would be the type to not return it to the cart corral.

Javier gets in the car, the front seat again, and you huff as you get in behind him. He turns to look at you as your mom starts to drive out of the parking lot. “Do you smell smoke?” He asks your mom, sniffing, and he leans closer to you, “did you just smoke?”

You jerk back, scowling at him and wishing to hell you had never met Javier Peña. “No! What is wrong with you? Stop sniffing me, you pervert.” You hiss, shooting him a deadly glare. “Just because you smell like the inside of an ashtray doesn’t mean everyone else does.”

Javier chuckles and shakes his head, “whatever, Chiquita. You tell yourself what you wanna believe.” He scoffs and then he smirks, “besides, you know that smoking is bad for you. Don’t want anything bad to happen to my step sister.” He feigns concern, knowing he will rile you up.

“I am not your step sister.” You hiss, even though you know that you technically are. “Well, honey….” Your mom interrupts and you sigh. 

“Mom, please. The last thing I want is to be associated with this asshole, let alone related to him. Just let me pretend. Chucho is amazing, but I don’t know how he turned out like he did.” You huff, pointing at Javier. 

Javier is a little hurt by your jab. His dad is a great man, one he could only aspire to be. His unwavering loyalty and dedication is something that he could wish for but fall short every time. “Whatever. Your mom clearly didn’t raise you to be like her. She’s not a bitch.” He hits back, crossing his arms as he stares out of the window.

You hiss out an angry breath and try not to let him get to you. It hurts, but you’ve been a bitch, being a bitch is better than letting him hurt you. “Okay you two.” Your mom sighs, driving you all home. “Please just get along for the holidays?” She begs. 

“Fine.” You decide. “I have no problem ignoring him for the holiday.”

Javier snorts, shaking his head but not saying anything else. He doesn’t understand why you hate him so much. He hasn’t done anything to you. He has no idea why you started hating him when he got with Lorraine. You hadn’t even shown up for your date that night. You were his best friend once.

The rest of the trip is spent in silence and you wonder how the hell you can cut this trip short and get out of spending any more time with Javier than you have to. When you get to the house, you jump out and start immediately unloading the groceries, shoving Javi's bags into his hands. "Got the rest, go do whatever."

Javier frowns but doesn’t argue. He’s sick of arguing. He takes his things into the house and puts the beers in the fridge before taking the condoms to his room. He feels like a teenager again. Awkward and unsure. You make him feel like that. He sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and he doesn’t know what to do about spending those days with his family. He decides to avoid it for as long as he can so he grabs the keys to his truck and decides to go for a drink at the dive bar he used to frequent before he left Laredo.

You’re unloading the groceries when you hear the truck start up and you sigh in relief. “Thank God.” You murmur, even though your stomach twists in guilt. Feeling like you’ve run Javi off. 

“What happened between you two?” Your mother demands but you just shake your head. 

“Mom, please, I don’t want to talk about it.” You beg. “I just- I don’t like him, okay? End of story.”

Your mom sighs but nods, “just - just try to make the best of it, okay sweetheart? It’s Christmas.” She says and you nod, unable to agree verbally. 

**** 

Javier returns to the ranch around 2am. He had met a girl - someone new in town - and Javier flirts but it doesn’t feel right. He frowns when she invites him back to her place and usually he’d say yes but for some reason, he can’t do it. Instead, he heads home and gets into bed without disturbing anyone.

You're sitting on the porch when the truck comes creeping up the drive with the lights off. Sneaking in. You snort to yourself when Javi doesn’t even see you on the porch when he slips into the house. Making you wonder where he had spent the night. Reminding yourself that you shouldn’t care. When you slip back in the house, you hear Javi starting to snore in his bedroom and you huff to yourself. With Chucho’s snoring in the bedroom he shares with your mom, it’s pretty apparent that snoring runs in the family. You climb back into your bed, wondering if you just need to go home, let them enjoy the holiday without you.

The next morning, Javier comes in to find your mom cooking breakfast, a groan escaping his lips when she puts a cup of coffee in his hand. “You are too good to me.” He tells her with a grin and a wink, “thanks.” He sits down at the table and reaches for the pack of smokes he left there.

When you shuffle into the kitchen, you narrow your eyes at the cigarette that is in Javier's hand. Craving it and finding it hypocritical that the bastard would bust your balls about smoking and he is puffing on one right in front of your mother and his dad. "Morning." You huff, moving over to your mom to give her a kiss and to take the coffee mug that she is holding out for you. "Thank you."

Javier watches you until his Pa gets his attention. “Let’s get the animals all fed early today so we aren’t dealing with them tonight or tomorrow morning.” Javier nods, knowing that his dad will want to relax for Christmas Eve dinner and tomorrow. “Sure thing, Pa.”

Sighing softly in relief, you relax when you realize that Javier won't be hovering all day. "Mom, I'll help you get everything ready, sound good?" you ask after taking a sip of the hot brew. "You shouldn't have to do all the cooking."

Your mom nods, “thank you, darling. Don’t be silly about spending the whole day helping me. I want you to enjoy the holiday since you’re home. I’m so glad to have you home.” She says and reaches for you to wrap her arms around you. “I love you.” She murmurs, getting a little emotional and Javier looks away, feeling like he’s invading when you hug your mom back.

"I love you too." You murmur softly, squeezing her tight. "I'll enjoy my holiday as long as I'm with you." You promise. "I'll help you and then I'll go do some last minute shopping."

Your mom nods, smiling and grateful to have you here. She gestures to the table, “sit down. Breakfast is nearly ready.” 

You sigh and then choke as you sit down next to Javier who is still smoking while he reads a section of the paper. “You know those things will kill you.” You remind him despite your hypocrisy. 

“Not if you do first, baby.” He winks at you and takes another drag.

"Don't tempt me." You grumble under your breath and roll your eyes as you fix your plate. You'll eat and then concentrate on your coffee.

Javier grabs a piece of toast and bites into it obnoxiously, wanting to see you get annoyed with him. You may hate him but he loves to see you riled up. At least it’s emotion.

You remember the promise you made to yourself, rolling your eyes instead of commenting and taking a sip of your coffee. "Thanks for breakfast, mom. You are amazing."

Your mom grins, pleased at the praise and Javier nods, “you are a great cook. My dad and I struggled for years after my mom died to make something half edible. We even burned the toast.” He confesses and takes another bite of the toast.

You don't make a snide comment, knowing the loss of his mother was hard for Javi, and for Chucho. It would be beyond disgusting to insult that. You set your coffee down and pick up your fork to take a bite of the eggs.

Javier digs into the rest of breakfast, groaning at the food, and he realizes he hasn’t been this hungry in a long time. He swallows down each gulp like a man starved and he pushes the plate back after he finishes to rub his stomach. He didn’t eat much in Colombia, running on booze and coffee and cigarettes.

You don't comment on the fact that Javi wolfed down his food, not even looking over at him as you eat your own meal. "So I was thinking," you start. "Why don't I cook dinner, since you'll be busy working on Christmas dinner?" You offer.

Your mom shakes her head, “oh baby. No. No. I can’t do that. Honey, I need you to relax too. It’s your first holiday home in forever. Let me make it special for you.” She offers and Javier shakes his head, “I don’t mind helping.”

You snort and cut your gaze over to him. "What could you do?" You ask. "You just said that you burned toast. Why the hell would we want burnt food?"

“I can cut shit up.” He offers, “boil water. I don’t know. It’s a lot of work to do alone. I can be ordered around like a good boy.” He promises with a smirk, picking up his coffee cup.

You roll your eyes and shake your head. "I doubt you've ever been a good boy." You huff. "No, I'm good. I don't think I want you around sharp knives. I might get confused and cut you."

Javier snorts, “more like stab me.” He says and you raise your eyebrows, “you said it.” 

Your mom shakes her head, “I’ll cook. You kids just focus on being nice to each other.” 

Chucho nods, “be nice, mijo.” He orders and Javier can’t argue with his father.

You smirk at Javi after his father tells him to be nice, barely resisting the urge to stick your tongue out at him. "I told you mom, I'll be civil. That's the best I can offer."

Javier rolls his eyes and stands up, putting his plate in the sink along with his coffee cup and he stalks out of the room to get ready for a day on the ranch helping his dad have everything sorted so he can enjoy Christmas without worrying about the animals or the ranch.

It's sweet, watching Chucho lean over your mom and give her a kiss. Smiling softly and patting her cheek when he tells him that he will be back later. It's the kind of relationship that you had always wished for yourself but it wasn't to be.

It’s late afternoon and you’re in the kitchen helping your mom prepare dinner when Javi comes in. It’s a cold day for Texas but Javi has been fixing the mower when he spilled oil on his shirt. He pulls it off and leaves it on the porch in a pile, deciding to come inside shirtless so he can wash his hands.

Your mom is in her bedroom, stripping her sheets to wash and you are in the kitchen, prepping food. The radio is on, playing the top 10 countdown and you are singing along to the music. Dancing around as you mix the cookie dough up. Distracted to the point where you don't hear the back door open.

Javier stops in the kitchen, shirtless, and he grins as you shake your hips and sings to the music. “I didn’t know you could dance so well, Chiquita.” He compliments you with a chuckle and he crosses his arms, oily hands forgotten.

Yelping in surprise, you almost drop the bowl. "Shit!" You slam the bowl down and glare at Javi as he grins at you. "What the fuck are you doing? Sneaking up on me?"

“I came in to wash my hands. Got covered in oil and came in to see you dancing. I ain’t ever seen you dance like that before, Chiquita.” He smirks and hums, “actually…a few times back when we - well, when you didn’t hate me.”

You stiffen when he has the audacity to bring up that time. "Yeah, well there's a lot you haven't seen, Peña." You huff, reaching over and slapping off the radio. "And you won't see. So just wash your hands and get on with what you were doing."

He knows you’re mad at him and he kinda likes it. He walks over to sink, grabbing the soap to wash off his hands and you’re next to him, and he can smell your perfume. He leans in closer unconsciously drawn to you. His body pressing against you without thought.

"What the fuck are you doing?" It takes you a split second before you react to him leaning into you. Hating how your pulse jumps and your entire body seems to tighten in anticipation.  You step back and look at him in disgust. "I'm not one of your fucking conquests. Don't touch me."

Javier pulls back instantly, the spell he was under is broken and he snarls at you, curling his upper lip. “You should be so lucky. My dick would get fucking bitten off by you.” He hisses and stalks into his bedroom to grab another shirt and hide his embarrassment. He doesn’t understand why you hate him so much. Especially not when he - when he was - well, it doesn’t matter now.

You close your eyes and take a deep breath, shaking your head. "Fucking forget about him." You tell yourself quietly. "He just is a piece of shit who would break your heart again."

Javier sighs and pulls a clean shirt on before he heads back out to continue helping his dad. He is anxious about dinner later. Wondering if you’re gonna behave or if he’s gonna end up fighting with you. “Why do you fight with her?” Chucho asks his son as they finish up work. 

“I- I fight with her because - well, it’s complicated. She hates me.” Javier reveals and Chucho shakes his head, “she doesn’t. I don’t see hate in her eyes. I see hurt. You need to talk to her, figure out what happened.”

When your mom comes back into the kitchen, you plaster a smile on your face and quickly escape. Taking your rental car and leaving the ranch to drive into town. Happy to escape and rolling the window down to smoke a cigarette as you drive. Blowing the smoke out of the car and sighing to yourself. Now that Javi is here, you will be obligated to get him something. So you have to find a gift for the asshole.

Javier decides to take his dad’s advice, he will talk to you and see what the fuck happened to make you hate him. He showers when he comes back inside and curses as he struggles to wrap the presents he bought. Including the necklace he got you when he was in Colombia. He wasn’t sure when he’d see you but it was made for you and he had to buy it.

Taking your time shopping, you meander in and out of shops, finally deciding on a gift for Javier. Really, two. One that spells out how you feel and another that your mother would approve of. You might be taking more time than normal so you didn't have to go back to the ranch just yet. Deciding to have the gifts you had brought for Chucho and your mom, along with the newly bought gifts for Javier wrapped at the little booth that is set up on the square. The beautiful wrapping is far superior than your own.

Javier places his haphazardly wrapped presents under the tree, shaking his head at how bad a job he did but he hopes everyone likes the presents he got. He wipes his hands on his jeans and grabs a beer, sitting down with his pa on the sofa just as you come back into the house. “Jesus, you go shopping in Dallas? You’ve been gone so long.” Javier comments.

You barely resist the urge to make a snarky comment and just shrug. “Got caught up.” You answer, feeling a little resentful that he believes you should answer to him. You are nothing to each other and hopefully won’t see each other again for years after the New Year’s party. Bringing the presents over, you place them under the tree and disappear down the hall to your bedroom to put your purse up.

Chucho looks over at Javier who sighs and stands up, following you down the hall and he knocks on the door. “Mom. I-” He doesn’t wait for you to say ‘come in’ when he enters and your eyes widen when he shuts the door behind him. “Javi. What the fuck-” 

He shakes his head, cutting you off. “Please, Chiquita. I need to know what the fuck it is I’ve done that makes you hate me so much.”

“I-“ your mouth drops open in surprise and you can’t believe this asshole doesn’t even remember. “I’m sure it’ll come to you if you think really hard on it. Now, I’d like you to leave my room.” You tell him, having no interest in getting into things with him. He had made his choice and you had moved on.

He frowns, “you seriously are a fucking bitch. Why can’t you just be fucking upfront instead of messing with me as much as possible.” He growls, “I’m over your little games. Fuck you.” He hisses before he leaves your room, slamming the door behind him. He storms outside, grabbing his cigarettes and he lights one as soon as he’s outside, trying to calm himself down.

In your room, you hate how his words affect you. Sinking down onto the bed, you try to stop yourself from crying. Thinking that you had cried yourself dry years ago and hating that Javier Peña still has that power over you. Wiping your eyes, you pick up your bag off the floor and toss it on the bed, ready to repack and leave.

He isn’t sure how long he stays outside, wandering the property, and he eventually looks up at the stars twinkling in the sky. “Mama. I- I don���t know what to do. She - she’s still so fucking gorgeous and I have no clue why she stopped talking to me. Seeing her again…I’m so confused. What do I do?” He asks the stars, wishing his mom was here to guide him.

Your bags packed, you sneak them outside and into the rental car. Unsure of why you are hanging around, but maybe it’s just to concede. Tell Javier that he’s won and you won’t be back around anymore. You’ll make it up to your mom, you’ll fly her out to spend a few weeks with you on your own turf. Your own cigarette is in hand for a pre-trip smoke as you spy a lone figure out by the barns and you decide to walk down there.

Javier caresses the horse as he stands in the barn, deciding to take more time to himself before he heads back inside for a “family dinner.” He hears a noise and turns to see you standing there, cigarette in hand. “You drop that, we all go up in flames.” He warns you, turning back to the horse.

“I’m not stupid enough to drop a cigarette around all the hay.” You snort, annoyed that he can’t help but be a condescending prick. “Came to tell you I’m leaving.” You take another drag off the cigarette before you smother the cherry on a wooden post until it’s out. “So you don’t have to worry about me being a bitch anymore. You win. I’ll fly my mom out to spend time with her during the year.” You hate looking at him, hate that you’ll remember the shock on his face but you make yourself turn around and start walking away. “Oh.” You toss over your shoulder. “Fuck you too, Peña.”

He hisses, rushing to follow you and he grabs your shoulder. “Fuck me? Fuck you. You’re gonna leave your mom on Christmas when you haven’t seen her in years. For what? Because of me? I’ll go. I’ll fucking leave then.” He growls at you and he spins you around to face him. “You can’t fucking leave.”

“Don’t fucking tell me what I can and can’t do!” You push him away, horrified that angry tears have sprang up in your eyes. “I don’t want to be here with you! I don’t want to fucking see you! Ever!” You bite your lip and wipe your tears. “You ruined Christmas, not me. Just like you ruin everything.”

“I don’t even know what I did. I have no fucking clue why you hate me. Can you at least tell me what I did before you crucify me?” He pleads, hunching over in frustration as you stand in the entrance to the barn.

You stare at him for a second and then you laugh. Deep and from your belly, making you double over as the tears of frustrated mirth roll down your cheeks. “Of course you don't remember!” You scoff. “Why the fuck would you remember shattering my heart? Asking me out on a fucking date and making me believe that things between us were finally going to change.” You stop laughing and shoot him a withering look, even with the tear streaks on your skin. “Was it on purpose? Making out with Lorraine when I showed up for our date? To sink the knife in and drive the message home that I wasn’t good enough for you? I know it was a stupid, pathetic crush, I was hopelessly in love with you.” You snort. “You didn’t have to be cruel.”

“You thought- fuck. I- you don’t even know what I was thinking when I asked you to the bar, do you? And when I got there, Lorraine was there and she was trying to win me back. She - she pounced on me when I- fuck. She must’ve seen you walk in.” He rambles, “she set it up and I- shit. You saw - oh shit.” He chokes, realizing how much Lorraine messed up his life. She knew he was planning to meet you and that he - “Fuck!” He yells at the sky, frustrated and so fucking angry. The miscommunication and the deception make his blood boil. “Fuck you!” He shouts again at the sky, hoping Lorraine hears him. “Fuck me? Fuck you!” You growl, thinking he is talking to you. 

“Fuck you!” He hisses back, furious at the universe. “Fuck you, Chiquita. Fuck-” He surges forward to cup your cheeks, pressing his lips to yours.

You huff against his lips, pulling back and drawing your hand back to slap him. The crack of the hit echoes around the pen. “Fuck you!” You hiss, but Javi just growls your name and grabs you by the back of the neck to plaster his lips against yours again. Making you melt as you stop resisting and kiss him back with just as much angry passion as he is kissing you.

He groans into your mouth, guiding you backwards into the barn and towards the fresh pile of hay, and he lowers you down onto it. He hovers over you, his lips kissing your jaw. “Tell me to stop.” He begs, reaching down to grab your thigh to hitch it over his hip. “Tell me to fucking stop.” He pleads, needing you to tell him you don’t want this before he makes you moan.

You should. You should push him away and slap him again, but you don’t. Too busy sinking your fingers into his hair and tugging on it hard enough to make him hiss. One night. You’ll take this one night with him and then you’ll leave. “Don’t stop.” You whimper, wanting to have him just once.

He groans in relief when you don’t push him away. His hand slides along your thigh to slip under the dress you put on for Christmas Eve dinner. His fingers pressing against your clit through the cotton and he kisses down your neck until he’s nipping at the swell of your breast. “Always been so fucking beautiful.” He mutters into your skin as his fingers slide under the elastic of your panties so he can rub your clit properly.

You huff, still not understanding everything that happened so many years ago, but his fingers are distracting. “Javi.” You moan softly, wishing you could kiss him, bite him as he rubs your clit and his nose pushes down the top of your dress to expose your tits. “Please.”

He can’t deny you anything when you whimper like that. He mouths at your nipple, biting down as you tug on his hair, and he pushes two fingers inside of you. “Waited so fucking long to hear those sweet moans. Wanna hear you cum. Wanna feel your pussy squeeze me, hermosa.” He murmurs into your ear as he presses his thumb into your clit.

Moaning, you close your eyes and absorb the stretch of his fingers. It’s so good. So filling. There’s a chance - a very large one - that this is some kind of notch in his belt. That he wants to touch you just so he can hold it over your head, but you don’t care. You just want to be touched. To have him like this. “Fuck, Javi- please.”

He hisses when your walls grip his fingers, showing him how tight you could get around his cock, and he groans your name. “I got you, hermosa.” He promises, “I got you baby.” He rubs your clit a little faster with his thumb, desperately needing you to cum before he fills you with his cock.

You whine, turning your head and pressing your lips together to muffle the sounds. The last thing you want is for your mom and Chucho to hear you and come outside. Closing your eyes, you love the little encouraging grunts he gives as he fingers you until you’re clenching down around his fingers and gasping out his name.

Javier groans when you soak his fingers and he works you through it. “That’s it. Such a good girl.” He murmurs, withdrawing his fingers after you start to whine and he shoves them in his mouth, wanting to taste you. “Baby. Shit. Tell me I can fuck you. Or tell me to stop.” He pleads as he squeezes his cock through his jeans.

Your dress is hiked up and your tits pulled out. Reaching for the band of your panties, you lift your hips to push them down. “Take your fucking pants off, Peña.” You growl, tossing the soaked material to the side and reaching for his belt.

He groans when you pull his hard cock out. He's throbbing and leaking pre-cum. The front of his jeans are dark from it, and he bats your hand away when you start to pump him. "Gonna fuck you." He promises, shuffling close until he's lined up and he starts to slowly push inside of you.

Your legs brace on either side of his hips and your nails curl into the fabric of his plaid shirt. He’s thick and stretches you out. “Fuck, Javi.” You whine, tilting your head up to kiss along his jaw. “Fuck.”

He pants, your cunt is gripping him like a vice, and he struggles to control himself. He takes a deep breath and nudges his nose against yours. He pushes deep, throbbing inside of you, and he slowly pulls out of you then pushes back in a little faster. "Mierda." He pants, starting to fuck you properly.

You had always wondered if Javi was cocky because he was that good or if it was a false sense of bravado but you quickly find out. The short, deep thrusts of his cock seem to push against the spongy, sensitive parts of you perfectly. “Shit is right.” You moan, wrapping your legs around him as he rocks into you. Regardless of how many women he’s fucked, you’re in his arms right now. “God, Javi, more.”

He pants, his cock twitching inside of you, and he grabs your thigh, lifting it higher so he can press deeper inside of you. “So fucking good, baby. Always thought you would be. Always imagined you’d blow my mind.” He rambles as he rocks into you over and over.

Closing your eyes, you resist the urge to spit at him that he could have found out years ago. Instead, you just tighten your muscles around him and moan quietly. You don’t want to ruin this or fight with him when he’s inside you, still unsure of what the fuck happened but you have your suspicions. “Fuck.”

He rocks into you, kissing along your neck, and he can’t resist biting along your skin. He’s always been a biter and he feels a little satisfied to bite your neck and mark you. His thrusts get sloppily, harder, as he gets closer but he needs you to cum first. Usually, he’d last longer but this is you and the fire is still blazing through his veins.

You feel his entire body tensing and moan softly. Stroking his back under his shirt and feeling the muscles move. “So good, fuck, you’re so good.” You praise softly, overwhelmed by how deep he plunges into you.

“Cum for me, hermosa.” He orders, “cum, Chiquita.” He demands, reaching between you to rub your clit in hopes that you’ll fall apart just before he does.

You whimper at the additional stimulation, body tensing under his. Rocking your hips up to his hand until you are falling apart with a choked cry.

“That’s it baby. Fuck. Oh shit. Oh.” He grunts as he thrusts three more times before he’s pulling out to cum on your thigh and over the hay. “Jesus.” He hisses, unable to believe he couldn’t even hold off until he could jerk himself.

You don’t know if you should be grateful or insulted that he pulled out to cum. You’re on birth control but he doesn’t know that. You decide that you just won’t address it. “Well….that just happened.” You hum, leaning back into the hay to catch your breath.

Javier chuckles, “yeah. A bit overdue.” He confesses and you freeze under him. 

“It’s getting late and I- we need to-” You rush out as you push on his chest and he frowns as he shifts off of you, working fast to tuck himself back into his pants.

“Hermosa-“ Javi starts and you grab your panties and hurry to put them back on after using some hay to wipe the cum off your skin. 

“We should get back.” You interrupt. “Mom worked hard on dinner.” You are confused and need time to process what just happened. “Don’t come in right behind me.” You tell him before you rush towards the house.

Javier stares at the barn door you rushed out of. His stomach twisting, and he rubs his cheek, "shit." He hisses, unsure of what happens next. He gave in. He gave in to the fucking feelings and desires he has had for years. He should've stayed away, not hurt you anymore than he has. "Fuck." He growls as he stands and the horses look over at him. "Don't look at me like that, asshole." He growls at the horse before he corrects his clothes and makes his way back to the house.

You slip into the house and down the hall to the bathroom. Staring at your reflection in the mirror and wondering what the fuck you have done. You crossed a line with Javier and now you are in unfamiliar water. Huffing before you grab a rag and start cleaning yourself up better so you don’t smell like cum.

Javier slips back into the living room, grabbing the beer his dad offers him and he sits down and stares at the empty hall. “Huh?” He grunts at his dad who asks him a question. 

“I asked if you got all the animals fed and watered.” Chucho repeats with a suspicious frown and Javi nods. 

“Yeah. I did. I- they are good.” He says half minded as he sips the beer and wonders what the fuck you’re thinking.

You probably spend more time in the bathroom than you should, checking your reflection to make sure no one can tell what you’ve been up to. Finally turning off the light and slipping out of the bathroom and into the kitchen to grab a glass of wine.

Javier watches you rush into the kitchen and Chucho notices. “You need to talk to her, mijo. Tell her what happened.” He urges and Javier shakes his head, “she wouldn’t believe me anyway.” Your mom calls for everyone to get around the table, it’s time for dinner. When Javier comes to the table, you’re downing the glass of wine in your hand, and he sighs when he takes a seat opposite you.

Your eyes slide over to him and you lower the glass as you swallow the last of the wine down. “What?” You ask, wondering why he is sighing. He got what he wanted, and you even stayed. 

“Oh sweetie, you want more?” Your mother asks and you nod. 

“Please?” You ask desperately. “I need it.”

Javi frowns as you take a gulp of your now full glass of wine. Your mom wants to say grace and Javier joins his hand with yours. Opening one eye to see what you’re doing, he rubs his thumb over the back of your hand, silently relaying he wants to talk later.

You shiver and when the prayer is over, you quickly pull your hand out of Javi’s. “Food looks amazing, mom.” You gush. “You did a fantastic job.”

Javier nods, "it's really good, ma'am." He says and your mom rolls her eyes, "how many times I gotta tell you to not call me that?" She reminds him and he chuckles, "sorry ma'am." 

He winks at her and she giggles, making Chucho snort, "stop flirting with my wife, boy." He teases his son who rolls his eyes, "unless you're trying to make good with my step daughter." Chucho says and Javier chokes on his food.

You laugh, a little butter and shake your head. “Hell no.” You assure Chucho. “You don’t have to worry about that. I don’t think he’s ever even looked at me twice.” You flash the older man a smile and a small shrug.

Javier frowns, glancing across the room to the tree where his present for you is. He wonders if you’ll like it or if you’re going to reject it…and him. He downs the rest of his beer and digs back in to his food, anxious and not liking the way you dismissed him so easily.

You eat quietly, ignoring the way that your mother and Chucho exchange pointed looks. Reminding yourself that you just need to survive the holiday and then you’ll never see or hear from Javier again. “So what are your plans?” Your mom asks and you shrug. 

“Work.” You answer quietly. “Always work.”

Javier chimes in, “you can’t always work. Life has to fit in sometimes. A personal life.” He knows he’s a hypocrite saying that when his own world has revolved around work for so long. “Gotta have a balance.” He’s realized that now he’s older.

“One day.” You huff. “I’ll find a life when I get my promotion.” You have told yourself that for countless milestones but you never do. You enjoy your relatively drama free personal life. 

“Honey…..you need to start dating.” Your mom puts in and you roll your eyes. “No thanks. I’m good.”

Javier snorts, “more like she’s scared of what could happen if she actually cared for someone.” He says and Chucho nudges his leg under the table in a warning.

Your eyes slide towards Javier and narrow. “Tried that once. He was a pig.” You hiss. “Decided that it wasn’t worth my time. Even though I don’t fuck for sport, I find plenty of companionship when I want it.” Your mom hisses your name, but you don’t back down from staring at the man who drives you insane.

Javier clenches his jaw at your thinly veiled insult towards him. He didn’t get a chance to explain what happened. He just wants a chance to tell you what went down that night. “Yeah. I’m sure you do.” Javier scoffs, “even in the middle of nowhere.”

Smirking, you shrug. “Mistakes happen, right?” You say smugly. You know now that you were just a notch in his belt. You can leave without any regrets. “Quickly forgotten.”

He shakes his head and scoffs, picking up another beer he had on the table to sip. "I don't forget things as easily. If ever." He says, letting himself stare at you and wanting to see you become uncomfortable under his gaze.

The table becomes a battleground, each one of you staring at the other. Unwilling to back down, you glare at Javi, wondering why you ever had that moment of insanity and let him touch you.

The dessert is finally served and Chucho and your mom are relieved. "Maybe we can have a drink on the porch?" Your mom suggests, wanting to get some air after dessert is finished. 

Chucho nods, "you kids can do the washing up." He says, following your mom after grabbing the bottle of wine, to follow her out on the porch.

Instead of speaking, you just start collecting the dirty dishes and your chair scrapes back from the table. Quickly moving to the sink to start some dish water to wash dishes. The quicker that you clean up, the quicker that you can escape Javier.

Javier huffs when you try to clean up as quickly as possible to get away from him. You are washing a dish when he places his arms on either side of you, trapping you against the sink. “Why’d you run away?” He asks, meaning tonight, the bar that night, and from town, all in the same heavy question. His nose running along your neck, “why’d you run?”

“You made your choice.” You jerk away from him and concentrate on the dishes. Refusing to melt under his casual seduction. “It wasn’t me. Why would I stick around and watch you play house with her?” You demand. “I’m not that pathetic.”

Javier sighs and rests his hands on the counter. “I didn’t- I was there to meet you. I was gonna have the date with you and she pounced on me. You didn’t see me push her away. I told her I was done with her and then you- you never showed and I thought I had my answer. That you didn’t feel the same way. So I went back to Lorraine, trying to figure out how the fuck to fall out of love with you.” He confesses, “you- you made me - you broke my heart that night.” He admits and knows you won’t believe him.

“Bullshit.” You close your eyes, hands under the water and you take a deep breath to keep from crying. The problem is that you want to believe it, want to believe that he had not intentionally been horrible. “Your hands were on her ass and her tongue was down your throat.” You remind him. “Look, I can’t - it’s not-“ you sigh again. “You fucked me, okay? You got what you wanted. It was pretty good. Wouldn’t mind if it happened again, but I don’t need words anymore. You changed me that night, you broke me.”

He shakes his head, “she put my hands on her ass and shoved her tongue down my throat. She - she forced herself on me and I- I pushed her away seconds later. You didn’t see me push her away. She knew how I- fuck. She knew how I felt about you and she was jealous. That’s why we broke up the first time. She found out about my feelings for you and dumped me. Then she wanted me back. Shit. I love you. I still love you.” He chokes, hating how vulnerable he feels.

Eyes wide, you turn your head and look at him in shock. “You still love me?” You ask in disbelief. “You haven’t seen me in forever and you’ve- you’ve moved on. You knew where I was, you could have come to me, but you got engaged to her.”

“I thought you hated me. You never returned my calls. Wouldn’t answer your door to me. Your mom said you’d left and I- I figured I’d do the right thing after Lorraine told me she was pregnant. She wasn’t. She lied so I’d propose and she railroaded a wedding that ended with me leaving her hanging at the altar. I couldn’t do it. I left that same day to go to the DEA and then all those years in Colombia. I never stopped thinking about you. And seeing you now…made me remember why I love you.” He finishes, unsure and so unused to declarations of love but you need to know the truth.

“Why?” You demand, unwilling to believe it right away yet it sounds like something Lorraine would do. “Why would you love me? I’ve been cold and sarcastic to you. Other than in the barn just before dinner.”

Javier chuckles, “honestly? I loved you back then because you’re funny, you’re kind. You’re my best friend and I fell in love with you without even realizing it and it fucking terrified me but baby, I was a coward then. I wanted to explore the world. I wanted to make a difference. I’m older now, I got that out of my system and I know what I want. I want you. I want to love you. You’re even more gorgeous and fucking sexy when you get mad at me.” He confesses, “but I guess you hate me too much and I get that. I- forget I said anything. Forget what happened in the barn. Let’s just get the holidays over with and you can leave.” He says as he pushes off of the counter to head down the hall to wallow and try to smother his mortification.

You should follow him, but you know that whatever you say right now, Javier will believe that it’s out of pity. Sighing to yourself as you finish up the dishes. Unsure of how to process this, and what you feel. You’ve been angry at him for so long because you were in love with him. Desperately so. Are you still angry because you’re still in love with him? Or the version of him from so many years ago? It’s confusing and frustrating, so when you’re done, you walk down the hall, pausing in front of his door.

Javier hears you outside of his room, and he sits up, glasses perched on his nose as he sets the book down he bought in the airport in hopes of relaxing enough to read something at some point. That hope is short lived and he deflates when he hears you continue down the hall to your room. You hate him. He fucked it up. With a sigh, he takes his glasses off and tosses the book onto the nightstand, deciding to get some sleep instead of letting his mind wander all night long.

The night passes, restlessly tossing and turning. Your sleep is interrupted by dreams of what could have been if you hadn’t run away. Javier as your husband, celebrating Christmas and bringing the baby for Chucho and your mom to spoil. Waking up before the sun rises, you slip out of the bed and into the kitchen to make coffee and sneak a cigarette. You had only brought one pack, but you’re going to smoke all of them before the holiday is over obviously.

Javier groans as he gets up, his back aching more than it used to. Fuck, he’s getting old. He takes a piss and brushes his teeth before heading into the kitchen wearing some boxers he grabbed off of the floor. It doesn’t seem like anyone is up yet until he sees the coffee pot. Pouring himself a cup, he heads onto the porch to find you smoking. “Those things will kill you.” He says, shivering at the cool air and taking a sip of his coffee.

“Hello pot.” You blow out the smoke and look at the cigarette. “I’m kettle. Didn’t you smoke a cigarette in the car with my mom? Besides, I hadn’t smoked in nearly a month before I came here.”

Javier snorts, “nice to meet you kettle.” He chuckles softly, taking another sip of his coffee and he walks over to you, plucking the cigarette out of your hand so he can take a drag, his eyes fixed on yours.

You huff slightly but you don’t glare at him. Taking a sip of your coffee and then looking out over the ranch. “Your dad is good for my mother.” You admit quietly. “She gushes when she talks about him and never thought that she would ever find someone to make her happy after dad died.”

Javier nods, “I never thought my dad would find someone after my mom died. It was hard…her dying so young of cancer and he - he struggled. We both did. I think that’s why I wanted to get out of Laredo as soon as possible when I had the chance. All those years away…I didn’t achieve anything really. Didn’t change the world. Those bastards are still peddling drugs across the border and I- I missed out on an opportunity to try and get the woman I love to be mine.” He says as he takes another drag.

“From what everyone has said, you managed to find plenty of companionship in Colombia.” You hadn’t wanted to talk about Javier, but your mom had kept you informed about his doings. “If you had convinced her, you couldn’t have done that. Not without losing your dick.”

“I - I was getting information. Men like to blabber when they are inside a beautiful woman. It got us a lot of intel and those women got to feed their kids. And if I had convinced her, I wouldn’t have gone. And I wouldn’t have had that kind of companionship. Life happens and here we are. Together. On this porch. It’s Christmas. Merry Christmas baby.” He murmurs, slowly leaning towards you. He takes a second to let you lean back before kissing your cheek.

“Merry Christmas.” You murmur, closing your eyes at the feeling of his lips against your cheek. “You have gone. I wouldn’t have wanted you to give up on your ideals and dreams for a relationship. I’m not Lorraine.”

He nods after he pulls back, “you’re not Lorraine. You- you’re you. I should’ve seen you earlier and I’m sorry. About everything. Last night. The night before. All the nights before that. I fucked up, hermosa. Just - just be happy, yeah?” He says as he hands you back the cigarette and heads inside, ready to nurse his heart.

“Javi- stop.” Reaching out, you touch his wrist. “Don’t go. I don’t know- who knows what would have happened?” You ask softly. “Back then. But I don’t want to fight with you anymore. I’m tired of avoiding you.”

Javier stares at you and nods, “let’s start again.” He walks up to you and holds his hand out, “hi. I’m Javier Peña. Ex- DEA agent. Total fuck up and chain smoker.” He declares with a soft smirk.

You chuckle quietly and introduce yourself. “Workaholic, total bitch and secret smoker.” You hum, squeezing his hand gently. “Nice to meet you.”

Javier squeezes your hand back and grins, “pleasure, baby. It’s a pleasure.” He winks and the lights in the kitchen turn on as your mom enters. “You two are out here? It’s so cold. Come inside.” She demands and Javier winks at you again as he lets you walk in ahead of him.

“Merry Christmas, mom.” You swoop in for a hug and she eyes you suspiciously. 

“Please, please behave today.” She begs quietly, making you feel guilty for how rude you’ve been. 

“I will, mom. Javi and I have called a truce.”

Javier nods as he comes over to give your mom a hug and wish her Merry Christmas. “We called a ceasefire for today.” He promises, “we are gonna make today special.” He assures her and she eyes you both cautiously. “I guess we will see.” She hums, “now, you both wanna help me with breakfast?” She asks and you nod.

Making breakfast doesn’t cause any arguments. Javi follows directions surprisingly well and there are moments that you snicker at his dry wit. Once upon a time, you were best friends and if nothing else, you wouldn’t mind having your friend back. Chucho comes in when it’s ready, sleeping in for once and you’re proud of the fact that he’s obviously been away but stayed in bed to rest. “Good morning.” You hum, kissing your stepfather on the cheek. “Feliz Navidad.”

Javier gives his Pa a hug and wishes him merry Christmas. “Breakfast is ready. Let’s sit down and eat and then presents.” Your mom exclaims with excitement, eager to give Chucho her present that she’s thought of since last Christmas.

You bite your lip. Remembering the gift you had picked out for Javier. Hopefully he won’t be too upset since you had bought him something else to replace it. It was a shitty gift, but you were angry when you went shopping. “Sounds great.” You murmur.

The breakfast goes well, civil conversation, and soon you and Javi are quickly washing up while your mom sorts out the gifts from under the tree. “Gift time!” She declares and Javier is anxious about what you think.

You hum and coo when your mother opens the beautiful bracelet that Chucho bought her. “Oh it’s so pretty. You have taste, obviously.” You joke, grinning at him as he puts it on your mother’s wrist.

Chucho grins, happy that your mom is happy and he kisses the back of her hand after securing the bracelet. “It’s so beautiful.” Your mom coos and Chucho winks, “para mi esposa hermosa.” He charms her and she giggles like a schoolgirl. Javier chuckles, pleased to see his dad so happy. Chucho opens his present from your mom. A new shotgun and he is grinning as he examines it. “This is perfect, honey.” He says, knowing his shotgun collection has been a little dated and he needs something new. “This is perfect for out in the fields.” He says, testing the weight of it before he carefully sets it down in the corner. 

“You next.” Your mom says, handing you your presents from her and Chucho and from Javi.

You open the gift from your mother and Chucho, exclaiming happily when they got you a pair of tickets to a concert that you have wanted to go to. “Oh this is wonderful!” You tell them. When it comes to Javi’s gift, you’re surprised when you see the name tag. You hadn’t expected to get anything from him. “You- you didn’t have to get me anything.” You huff

Javier shakes his head slightly, “it’s not much.” He lies even as his stomach twists at the thought of you opening the present. He hopes you don’t hate them. He bites his lip as you take your time unwrapping the small box.

Opening up the small box you gasp in surprise. It’s a necklace. A gorgeous one that has the most beautiful stones in it. “Javi-“ you whisper, wondering where he got this and when. “It’s gorgeous.”

Javier smiles, pleased you like the necklace. “I, uh, I saw it when I was in Colombia and…and I knew it was made for you. I got it. Wasn’t sure if I’d ever get to give it to you.” He admits and rubs his hands together, nervous about you liking the necklace.

“It’s beautiful.” You admit quietly, more moved than you can express for him buying a necklace that he didn’t even know he would give you. “Will you put it on me?” You ask softly.

He nods, standing up and taking the chain from you. His heart is thumping as he delicately fastens the chain around your neck, barely resisting the urge to lean in and kiss your shoulder. “Hermosa.” He murmurs as he steps back from you.

“Thank you.” You murmur quietly, looking into his eyes and hoping that you are showing him how much you appreciate it. “It makes me feel bad now.” You admit as you pick up the parcel you had wrapped for him

He shakes his head and brings it up to his ear, “is it a bomb?” He teases and you giggle, shaking your head. He rips into the paper, exposing the box and he frowns. “Hemorrhoid cream?” He asks, confused and honestly a little hurt.

“Because you’re a ‘pain in my ass’.” You joke lamely and bite your lip before motioning to the other wrapped gift. “I did buy you something else. Your real present.”

Javier sets the cream with an amused snort and he grabs the other present, opening it, and his eyes widen at the expensive leather. His fingers trace the engraving of his initials on the journal and he looks at you. “Thank you. This is - it’s perfect.” He was considering writing down his experiences in Colombia. Something a therapist suggested to him. Perhaps a book in the future.

“I thought it would be appropriate to journal or just write down your thoughts.” You admit, happy that he likes the real gift you had picked out. “The cream was a gag gift, but I wanted you to have something nice.”

He leans in to kiss your cheek, “I love it. The journal. Although…I could use the cream now and then.” He jokes as he leans back. “Thank you.” He murmurs, his eyes flicking down to your lips.

“You’re welcome.” You smile and Chucho clears his throat. “Oh, um, I’m sure you want to open the present from mom and your dad.” You tell him, quickly pulling back and looking at the other present.

Javier nods and moves back to the sofa, sitting down, and he opens the present from his dad and your mom. “Seriously?” His eyes widen and his dad nods, “you need your own place and I don't need a damn teenager in the house.” Chucho teases, “it’s been empty since Jose left a few months ago. It’s yours if you want it.” Chucho offers Javier the keys to the small house that sits on the other side of the ranch, built for the ranch hand by Chucho’s parents. “Thank you.” Javier grins, happy to have his own place and still be able to live on the ranch of his ancestors. 

“Just need you to fill the place up with grandbabies.” Your mom teases and Javier blushes slightly, “gotta find a lady willing to put up with my ass.”

You feel like his eyes are on you and you try to ignore it. “You gave away a house?” You look over at your mom and Chucho, impressed. “So I guess that means Javi is sticking around?”

Javier nods, “I’m staying. I’m done with the DEA. I’m here to help Pa on the ranch. I was gonna look for places in town but this - this is perfect.” He declares, looking back down at the keys in his hand.

You swallow harshly, remembering all the fantasies you had about you and Javi working in the ranch with his dad and one day taking it over. “That’s great. Having your privacy is always a good thing. Saves for embarrassing encounters in the morning.” You joke, wondering if he had meant what he said about still loving you. If he imagined the same life you had before.

Javier stares at you for a long moment, imagining that life with you. Marriage. Children. He never imagined it with anyone else, even Lorraine. He never wanted it with her. When she told him she was pregnant, he was so upset. “Thanks Pa.” Javi leans over to pat his dad on the back before he thanks your mom.

You watch as Javi hugs your mom and gather up the wrapping paper and trash to throw it away. “If you want to go look at the place, I’ll help mom with dinner.” You offer.

“You wanna come look with me? Might need your interior design skills.” He says, tilting his head, and he hopes you don’t decline.

“Oh honey, go with him.” Your mom interjects. “We did most of the hard stuff yesterday. Go get dressed and go see it.” She doesn’t know why the two of you are acting better, but she wants to encourage it as much as possible.

Javier nods, deciding to get dressed too while you do. You meet him outside and he escorts you to the cabin. Tempted to hold your hand but he refrains as you walk in comfortable silence for the first time in years.

The cabin is set apart from the house that his father shares with your mother and the barns. Built about a football field away, the separation is nice. “So you’re back for good?”

“Yeah. I- I didn’t really get a chance to tell you but I’m back.” He rubs his neck, “retired from the DEA and staying in Laredo for good. Pa needs more help now he’s getting older.” He explains, stepping up into the small porch and jangling the keys.

“Well, that’s good.” You tell him. “There once was a time I imagined working here.” You admit. “Living here.” You shake your head at how foolish you were. “Life never turns out the way we expect, huh?”

Javier opens the door and lets you enter first, his dark eyes trained on you as you walk into the house. “You still could if you wanted to.” He murmurs, leaving the door open behind him in case you dash like you always seem to do.

“Oh, I don’t think Chucho and mom would like me staying under their roof for long.” You purposely misunderstand. “It feels like they're still in their honeymoon stage.” You huff a laugh. “I think I heard them last night when I went to the bathroom.”

Javier wrinkles his nose, “I love them but Jesus, didn’t need to know about the old man getting his rocks off.” He shakes his head as if to shake the image. “Baby, I meant you living here…with me.” He says, turning back towards you to see your reaction.

Your eyebrows furrow slightly and you bite your lip. “You would want that?” You ask seriously. “You’ve- you’re a confirmed bachelor, that’s what everyone says.” You had heard the whispers about Javier being home when you were out shopping. “‘Javi will never settle down.’” You quote. “You really want me living with you and holding you back from chasing whatever skirt catches your eye?”

Javier scoffs, turning away from you to look at the kitchen. “I’m tired of it. I don’t want to wake up in another bed I need to sneak out of. I’m sick of not having someone to be my best friend, to share a life with. I’m old. I’m too old to be out there fucking anything with a pulse and I don’t want to. I want you. I want a life with you. I always have. I won’t beg you. If you don’t want that…want me…I get it.” He shrugs, glad he’s turned away from you to hide his hurt expression.

“Why don’t we…..” you reach out and touch his shoulder. “Date?” You suggest. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been in each other’s lives. What if we’re different from what we remember? What if I’m not the idealized version of me that you have fantasized about being with?” It hurts to admit that, but being rejected again would kill you. “So while we’re here together, we get to know each other now and we can figure out if we would want it permanently.”

Javier turns to look at you. His eyes are burning into yours and he doesn’t see any malice, you’re not messing with him. You’re being honest and he can’t ask for more. He nods, “we can do that.” He promises, “I want to try.”

“I- I want to try that too.” You admit softly, eyes cutting away from his in embarrassment and you look around the little ranch house. “This is gorgeous.” It’s got some basic furniture in it, so Javi shouldn’t have to get much to make it a home. “Are you going to move in today?”

“I’m thinking I might do some work on it. Move in tomorrow.” He says, glancing around at the things that need to be updated. “I wouldn’t mind your help. I was serious about that. I’m hopeless at decorating a home. I need help.”

“I doubt that.” You scoff, Javier has always had good taste in everything. “But I’ll help. What do you want to do?”

“Probably going to change the sofa. This thing has been here forever and I have an idea of what’s happened on it.” Javier wrinkles his nose, “Jose used to brag about his conquests.”

You snort and send him a smirk. “So you’ve never fucked on a sofa?” You ask. “Stuck to the bed and piles of hay in a barn?” You tease. “Obviously no shower sex, either. You were shocked to see me in the shower the other day.”

“I’ve fucked on a sofa. In the shower. In the car. Pretty much every surface but hay in the barn was a first with you.” He admits. “I was shocked because - because I didn’t expect to see you there and I - Jesus, it’s all I could think about after. What would’ve happened if I had stepped in there and fucked you against the tiles.”

You’re surprised by his admission and your cunt clenches in reaction. “I probably would have slapped you at the time.” You admit, smirking at the idea of slapping him and then fucking him. “But I would have let you fuck me after. I’m weak like that.”

Javier chuckles, “probably wouldn’t have minded the slap. Made me fucking hard as steel when you did it last night.” He admits, shifting to lean against the kitchen counter.

“Really?” Your brow ticks up in surprise and you smirk at the little secret he’s just revealed. “Javier Peña likes his sex a little rough. Interesting.” You tease. “Slapping is on the table, you obviously like to bite, how do you feel about handcuffs?”

“Depends on who’s wearing them. I ain’t against getting handcuffed to the headboard so you can ride my face.” He admits, “or I could handcuff you and make you scream my name after I suck on your clit all night long.”

It’s so casual, the way he throws out sexual escapades. You shiver slightly and snort. “No man wants to just eat a woman out all night.” You tell him. “Maybe getting their dick sucked, but not using their own mouth.”

“One man.” He says and points to himself. “Always love seeing a woman cum on my tongue. Didn’t get to do that to you last night.” He hums, “and I’m sure that’s not something you’re interested in with me.” He teases, crossing his arms.

You huff and roll your eyes. “You were too busy dreaming of shoving your cock inside me.” You remind him, even though you had been pretty desperate for the same thing. “I don’t know, it would mean using the couch or the bed that’s seen so much action. Since I doubt you’d want your dad to hear.”

Javier chuckles and pushes off of the kitchen counter, stepping towards you. "Hermosa...that couch has seen some action. I'm sure it wouldn't mind a little more before it gets taken to the dump. You wanna sit on my face for Christmas?" He asks, "or we can go back to the house and act like this never happened?"

“Face sitting for Christmas?” You giggle at the idea and bite your lip. “Nothing to hang onto, but I could lay down and you could do what you wanted. Learning the oral skills of your partner is an important part of dating, isn’t it?”

Javier smirks and nods, “exactly. Important to establish early on. Now…strip for me, hermosa. I want to see all of you.” He orders and rubs his lower lip with his thumb, his cock pressing against the zipper of his jeans.

You tut, but you don’t argue with him. He didn’t get to see you last night and in some small way, you want to show him what he’s been missing. Keeping your eyes on his, you reach for the hem of your light sweater and pull it over your head to toss it aside. “You know you’re handsome.” You grumble. “Cocky asshole. Always aware of how many women want to fuck you.”

He snorts and pulls his shirt over his head. “There’s only one woman I want to fuck me right now.” He promises, “might be the last one I fuck.” He declares and watches you, his dark eyes taking in the sight of your tits unhindered by a dress. “Jesus, baby. You’re gorgeous.” He murmurs when you push your leggings down after kicking off your shoes.

“And you’re a kiss ass.” You tease, even though his words make you preen. 

“I’ll kiss your ass.” Javi smirks and you turn around to bend over while you pull your panties down.

He groans softly and wraps his fingers around his cock. “Baby. Go kneel on the sofa.” He orders, wanting to taste you. He’s aching but he desperately wants to make you cum on his tongue.

You sway your hips enticingly as you walk over to the sofa. Kneeling down and bending over the armrest. You look over your shoulder and smirk at Javi. “What are you waiting for?”

He practically growls as he rushes over to the sofa, kneeling on the floor and he nudges your knees apart until he can push his tongue deep into your pussy. Sliding against your clit immediately so he can taste you and God, he fucking loves the tang of your arousal.

“Jav!” Your cry is nearly cut off, strangled by the groan you give. He’s eager and that eagerness translates into a quick tongue and demanding jaw. Working into you and over your clit with a ferocity you haven’t experienced. “Oh God, fuck, Javi.” You whine, grinding back against his tongue.

He groans into you, loving the way you take what you need. His fingers grab your ass, working you open even more and his tongue slides up to push against your puckered hole.

Gasping, your hips rock forward. "Javi!" You squeal, unused to anyone ever sticking anything near that area. "Don't- just my pussy." You warble out.

He doesn’t push you, sliding his tongue down to push it into you with a groan, your arousal hitting his taste buds and he groans your name into your flesh. His hands massage your ass and he’s aching to push inside of you but doesn’t.

You shudder and moan. "I'm sorry-" you gasp out. "No one- I've never-" You know you can't compare with some of the women you know he must have been with. You don't have the experience. You aren't a virgin, but you didn't bed hop as often as you had insinuated. "Oh God."

Javier pulls back, his hands caressing your hips. “Hey. It’s okay. I pushed you and you have limits. I want you to tell me if you don’t like something or aren’t sure. Trust me baby, I want you to enjoy this.”

"I just never have done that." You admit breathlessly. "I don't want you to think I'm a stuck up prude. I just -" You shrug, embarrassed, "was shocked."

“It’s okay.” He promises and leans forward to kiss along your hip and your ass cheek. “It’s okay baby. I want you to enjoy this and I don’t care if you haven’t done anything there. Your pussy is sweet enough for me.” He promises, giving you a moment in case you want him to stop.

You remind yourself that you aren't telling him no, you're telling him not right now. It can be something you talk about when you aren't naked. "Are you going to make me cum?" You ask saucily. "Or was that all talk?"

Javier chuckles, “I am a man of action, hermosa.” He promises and leans in to bite your ass cheek. He kisses the skin until he ducks down to slide his tongue through your folds again. A groan vibrates through you from him and he squeezes your hips as he resumes sucking on your clit.

You moan softly, eyes slipping closed as Javi feasts on your cunt. That's all you can think of, the man behind you feasting as he groans and grunts into your cunt. He sounds like he's enjoying it and you love how wanton it makes you. "So good." You whimper. "Thought your mustache was stupid until right now."

He chuckles into your pussy, wanting to tell you how it’s not stupid but he’s more occupied with making you cum. He sucks on your clit, determined to make you cum on just tongue. He hisses as you reach back to tangle your fingers in his hair and he goes harder, pushing his tongue into you and pressing his nose to your clit.

You don't know how long he has his lips wrapped around your clit and you don't care. Every second is amazing and makes your cunt clench around nothing. If you could just have his cock buried inside you, it would be a dream. "I'm gonna cum." You warn him, stomach knotted in pleasure and his groans vibrating against the bundle of nerves. He sucks harshly and you squeal his name, body spasming in pleasure as you come apart.

He loves hearing you cum. Jesus, his cock is leaking into the fabric of the sofa, and he groans your name, muffled by your folds as he works you through your orgasm.

Javier seems to know exactly when to pull away from you. Slurping up every drop of your pleasure until your limbs are heavy and you are melting into the cushions. "Fuck," you pant. "I - fuck me, baby." You beg breathlessly. "I need to feel you inside me."

He can’t deny you or himself. He shifts to kneel on the sofa behind you, pumping himself a couple of times until he’s notching himself at your entrance and pushing into you with a groan. “Fuck.” He pants, “so goddamn tight.” He murmurs, knowing he’s never felt like this before. It’s like coming home.

You purposefully squeeze your walls together to make him groan, giggling when he slaps your ass. "Kegels." You tell him breathlessly. "Keeps everything nice and tight."

“Goddamn.” He mutters and starts to move inside of you. Rocking slow to pull out until he’s surging forward to rock into you hard. “Want you to scream my name. No one can hear you this far out.” He reminds you, “wanna hear you cry out.”

The house is farther away from the barn, making you nod and release your lip from your teeth. You had been biting down when he started moving, trying to stifle the sounds. He feels so much bigger from this position. "Oh fuck, Jav- I, fuck!"

“That’s it. Scream for me, hermosa.” He grunts, loving the way you let go and rock back onto him. His fingers dig into your hips and he shifts to cover your back with his chest, his lips finding your neck as he cups your tits. Squeezing them, he bites down on your shoulder.

"Fuck Javi-" You love how he is using his teeth, marking you. "Harder." You whine, not sure if you mean the thrusts, the teeth or them both. "Fuck me. Use me."

He grunts, pushing into you harder. He bites down on your shoulder again and soothes it with his tongue. “So fucking good. Pussy feels like a vice.” He grunts against your skin, “so good.”

"God, sooooo good." You moan, eyes rolling back and your arms shaking under you. "No wonder she didn't want to let you go." You don't want to start a fight, not while he's buried inside you, but you can see why Lorraine didn't want Javi moving on. "Oh fuck, baby."

“Gotten better since then with practice.” He confesses, “and you’re the last one to benefit if you want.” He adds, “you’ll be the pussy I live and die with.” He promises, “if you want me. I’m yours.” He vows and kisses along your neck.

You shiver because of his words and his lips trailing over your skin. "Don't make promises you can't keep, Peña." You moan, turning your head to look over your shoulder at him. "No promises while you're balls deep."

He hums, “fine.” He doesn’t argue, but he’s disappointed you never say that’s what you want. He pushes deep again, hunched over you, and the springs of the sofa struggle as he fucks you.

You can tell he's disappointed in your reaction to his comment but you can't make decisions like that when he's touching you. You're already so vulnerable. His next thrust has you crying out his name, nails digging into the fabric of the sofa under you.

“That’s it, hermosa.” He grunts when your walls clench around him. “That’s it, baby. Need you to cum again for me.” He demands, rocking into you over and over, jaw clenched with concentration.

"I will, oh fuck baby, you-" Your moan is low, long as he presses deep and hits something wonderful inside you. "Right there." You gasp. "Right fucking there!"

He groans, rocking into you over and over again, focusing on that same spot. “That’s it baby. That’s it. Cum for me.” He pleads, his voice raspy.

It only takes a few thrusts before your entire body is lurching forward. Back arching as you practically scream his name. Cunt clamping down around him and soaking him in waves of your juices until you are gasping for air.

He lets out a strangled groan as you clamp down on him. “I- fuck- that’s it baby girl. That’s it.” He grunts, “in-inside or no?” He asks, needing to know as he gets closer and closer to his orgasm.

"I'm on the pill." You moan out, eyes closing as you imagine him filling you up. The heat and warmth of his cum coating your insides. "Wherever you want."

He groans at the news he can fill you up. “Fuck baby. I- shit. I’m gonna cum. Gonna fill you up.” He moans and rocks into you a few more times before he chokes, biting down on your shoulder as he throbs inside of you, painting your walls.

It's exactly what you imagined. Hot and thick inside you. Making you whimper as the sharpness of his teeth bruises your shoulder and your cunt spasms because of his sexy groans. "So good."

Javier, groans and kisses the marks he left on your skin. “That was so fucking good, hermosa.” He nudges his nose against your neck as he pulls out of you, uncaring of his cum dripping onto the sofa he’s planning to get rid of.

You hum in agreement, smiling softly when you turn around and sit down. "It was. You have a gift, Peña." You tease. "Now I want a nap." You admit. "I didn't sleep very well last night."

“You wanna nap here or you wanna go somewhere else?” He asks, caressing your back, and he kisses your shoulder. “Or you wanna go back to the house?”

You hum and bite your lip. "There's a bed in the bedroom right?" You ask softly. "I think I would like to take a nap with you." You admit with a smile. "I doubt mom and Chucho will come out here looking for us. They are hoping we start getting along."

Javier smirks and shifts off of the bed and he reaches for you, “come on baby. Let’s go to bed.” He reaches for your hand and he guides you to the bedroom to lay down. “I’ll clean you up.” He promises and guides you to the bedroom before heading into the bathroom to clean you up.

Once you are cleaned up and snuggled against him, you sigh softly. "I've missed you, Javi." You admit, laying against his chest and listening to his heart beat. "I've missed you so much."

He kisses you softly, curling around you. “Merry Christmas baby.” He murmurs, kissing along your neck and he caresses your side as he closes his eyes.

*** 

It’s been a week,  now New Year’s Eve and even though you’ve spent nearly every moment you can in Javier Peña’s bed, you still haven’t had the most important conversation. Too busy getting fucked in every way possible between helping him decorate his new home. Oftentimes sneaking out of the house and over to his after your mother has gone to bed. You never sleep through the night, but you find yourself wanting to. “You look so tired.” Your mom tuts. “Your vacation was supposed to be relaxing.” 

You smother a yawn and smile. “I know. I will go to bed early tonight.”

Javier smirks from across the table, “you gotta get your sleep.” He tells you with a smirk, “what’s been keeping you up at night?” He asks with genuine looking concern that makes your mom shake her head, “are you worried about something, honey?”

"I've been thinking about my future." You admit quietly, not looking over at Javier. It doesn't help that you are sneaking in and out of his bed every night either, but the real thing keeping you up has been deciding what you will do. You know Javi has wanted to talk about it, but you've brushed him off so far.

Javier tilts his head, curiosity getting the better of him when he leans forward and says “and what have you been considering?” Chucho looks between you and his son, having picked up what’s going on, even if your mom is still trying to catch up.

You bite your lip, still nervous about what might be. "I don't know." You murmur quietly. "A lot. It's hard to explain."

Javier nods, not willing to push you anymore. These past ten days have been the best and he isn’t going to force you to be with him. He wants you to want him. To spend your life with him. You have your decision to make and he won’t force you but you’re leaving tomorrow and he is anxious about losing you forever if you go.

You look away from him quickly, unwilling to let your mother see the looks that pass between you but Chucho is watching you carefully. "So we are having the party tonight?" You confirm. "What do we need to do?"

“We are having the food catered. Javier just needs to go collect the drinks and we have some decorations to put out.” Your mom tells you and Javier nods, “I’ll go in a bit to get the drinks.” He tells your mom.

You nod. “That’s good. At least you won’t be pushing yourself to spend all day in the kitchen cooking.” You agree. “I’ll go with Javier, get anything else we need.”

Javier is pleased to hear you want to come with him and you’re soon in his truck heading to the store. He doesn’t say much after he starts the engine and the radio plays as he reaches for your hand.

Your fingers thread through his easily and you imagine yourself doing this every time you go to town together. Holding his hand and sitting in the soft silence with the radio playing. "So have you heard from the DEA?" You know he's temporarily on leave, but that could change, or he could be let go completely. It all depends on how angry they are at him.

He sighs, looking up at the traffic light. “I told you, I’m retired. They have to give me leave before I have my final briefing but I’m hoping they allow me to go without any issues.” He admits, “I ain’t going back. I am here now. To stay.”

Somehow, you don’t believe him, but you nod. “So you want to work the ranch with Chucho? That’s your end goal? Or do you have other plans in mind?”

Javier shrugs one shoulder. “That’s the plan. It all comes down to someone deciding they want to share a life with me and I ain’t gonna force her. I want more than a lonely life chasing down cartels that just get replaced by another.”

You squirm slightly in your seat and wonder if he knows how much pressure that is putting on you. “And what would happen if …..things don’t work out?” You ask softly.

Javier knows he can’t push you or force you into being with him. “If things don’t work out then I’ll be here, working with my Pa and I’ll eventually take over the ranch. I’m tired, baby. I want a simple life and if that’s a life alone, then at least it’s peaceful.” He says, having accepted that you might not want him for more than sex.

He sounds so tired and that hurts you. Squeezing his hand gently, you sigh. “I don’t know what I want.” You admit quietly. “I’m scared. Of being hurt again, I guess. I didn’t date for a long fucking time after leaving and never anything serious.”

He nods, “it’s okay. I don’t - I don’t want to pressure you or force you. I don’t want you to make a decision and make the decision you think I want you to make. I’m scared too. I don’t - I haven’t done this properly. A relationship.” He confesses, “at least not one where I’ve felt like this.”

"What do you feel like?" For all the conversations you've had, which aren't many, you've never really gone beyond 'I love you'. It's important to know why and how he loves you.

“I feel like - it’s comfortable. We can sit and say nothing at all and I don’t feel the need to fill the space with talking. We can just…be.” He says and squeezes your hand. “You’re my best friend. The best sex I’ve ever had, and the woman that I can see having a family with. I love you.”

You bite your lip and look down at your hands. “Tonight.” You promise. “I’ll give you an answer tonight. At midnight.” You still don’t know what you will say but he deserves to know that soon a decision will be made.

He nods, Not wanting you to make a decision and regretting it. “No rush baby. I’ll be here. No matter what.” He promises, “you’ll always be my best friend.”

He told you his theory. That Lorraine had seen you at the bar that night. She apparently knew that Javi was in love with you and that was why they had broken up the first time. It’s plausible, but you still aren’t sure. Javi isn’t a liar, at least he wasn’t, but you don’t know if you don’t trust him or yourself anymore. “Thank you.” You murmur sincerely. “Let’s get the food and alcohol so we can get back and help set up.”

**** 

Javier adjusts his shirt collar, feeling a little heated. Family and friends are gathered in the house and his cousins have the fireworks ready to go for the countdown. He is nervous about what you are going to decide. The rest of his life hangs in the balance and he’s trying to give you some space to make your decision. He sips his whiskey, watching his dad and your mom mingle and you’re across the room making sure his second and third cousins are having a good time and keeping out of the booze. “Countdown in two minutes.” Chucho announces after ten minutes of mingling and gathers the family outside for the fireworks to be set off. Everyone starts moving outside and Javier is looking around, trying to find you in the crowd.

You had slipped off to your room, wanting to make sure that you have your necklace on. It would be a symbolic gesture since you hadn't been wearing it when the party started. Butterflies filling your stomach and making you nearly nauseous. Checking your reflection one more time before slipping out of your bedroom and down the hall to go outside with everyone else. On the porch, you see Javi, craning his neck to look for you and you swallow, knowing that this step will change everything.

Javier almost senses you, turning his head to see you and the smile on his face is boyish. “Hey hermosa.” He murmurs, reaching for your hand to press a kiss to the back of it. His eyes focus on your necklace and his heart thumps a beat but he doesn’t want to assume anything. Not yet. “One minute everyone.” Chucho declares as Danny and some of the other guys get ready for the fireworks to be lit.

“Javi-“ Taking his hand, you turn towards him, swallowing nervously. “I didn’t expect to see you when I agreed to come for Christmas.” You begin. “I didn’t know if I wanted to see you ever again.” It’s hard to admit that, but he knows it’s true. “I had been in love with you for nearly our entire lives and it seemed like you had broken my heart.”

Javier swallows harshly, his heart pounding as your families and friends gather and the radio is loud to announce the countdown. “I did, not on purpose, and I’m so sorry.” He murmurs, getting more and more nervous with each second that passes to the new year.

“I know.” You nod. “But I was so angry, so hurt.” You go on. “Telling myself, you and everyone who would listen, that I couldn’t stand you. That I hated you.” You regret that, especially now that you truly do believe that he hadn’t seen you that night. “You’re here and you want to be with me. It’s probably my younger self’s dream come true.” Everyone around you starts to count down from ten as it gets closer to midnight. You can see that he’s nervous, glancing around and then back at you, but no one else is paying attention. “I have one more question to ask you.” 

Javi frowns. “Anything, hermosa.” 

You grin as everyone hits ‘two’ on the countdown. “Will you marry me, Javier Peña?”

His eyes widen and he doesn’t even take a second to think as he replies, “fuck yes” and surges forward to kiss you, cupping your cheeks, and the fireworks start to go off as the new year arrives. Javier kisses you for a long moment before he leans back to press his forehead against yours. “Happy New Year, baby.” He murmurs, a grin on his face as he looks at his future wife. This holiday season was complicated and rough but Javier is going into the new year looking forward to a bright future with you, the love of his life and soon to be his wife.

[copperbadge]

I came home last night and as I usually do, unpacked pretty much immediately; as I moved from room to room I kept being confused because parts of my home seemed weirdly clean. And then I'd remember "Oh yeah...because I cleaned it."

I did work on digital cleaning the entire time I was in Texas but it was tough to write about, mainly because I didn't get a ton of time to write in general. But getting back home again...

[ID: Two images of a three-tier metal cart from Ikea, the Rashult, fully assembled; the first shows it in the living room after being built, and the second show it in its new home under my kitchen worktable, next to a chest of drawers, filled with tupperware.]

I finally came to the conclusion that trying to keep all my tupperware in a cabinet simply wasn't working, so I bought a cart that I knew would fit under the table and finally got to assemble and fill it. Thanks @deesarrachi for suggesting this kind of cart on a previous post!

Assembling the cart and filling it with storage containers -- including sorting the containers to make sure no container went in without its lid -- took up pretty much an entire 52-minute episode of The Worst Idea of All Time, though I also used some of that time to scrub the grease off the kitchen hood and cover it with adhesive plastic that I can just change out every so often. And I changed the sheets on the bed since I needed to do laundry anyway, so tonight I go to bed with an organized tupperware shelf and new bedlinens, like I'm my own stereotypical 1950s housewife.

As we get to the end of the month I'm taking stock of what I got accomplished and while I didn't do some things I normally do (scrub the bathroom down and steam-clean some high-traffic areas, mainly) I did accomplish a lot of more permanent things. The bathroom will always get dirty again, but -- for example -- the tupperware has a new permanent home where it will stay more organized.

And I've still got a few days left! I have more than a few days' worth of work, but the momentum may carry me into December, and if not at least I have a list of stuff to do once I've had a bit of a break. And for today I get to rest, because tomorrow I'm back to work and the week will be busy. Feeling pretty accomplished right now, though.

[adminbryantsaki]

Relaxing in the Bath

Shouta Aizawa x Neurodivergent! Reader

(I do not own Shouta Aizawa/Eraserhead. He belongs to Horikoshi Kohei. If this isn’t your cup of tea, blend of spices, or brew of coffee, move on. Reader discretion is advised.)

TW: Minor car accident, minor injuries, hospital trip, overstimulation, sensory calm down, autistic meltdown from overstimulation, reader has compression sleeves and noise cancelling headphones. Neurodivergent awareness, stripping down to take a bath, bath with male partner. WC: 2,148

(photo taken by me of a sunrise)

A vehicle serves to miss a concrete wall, pressure from the seatbelt holding you in presses into your collarbone, you hear Shouta curse under his breath as he turns the steering wheel to avoid wrecking the car against the concrete wall that held up the parking garage that the two of you were trying to park in after a long journey to your destination of the day. He assessed himself before touching your arm to pull you out of the trance that you had been locked in as you were processing everything that had just happened.

“Are you okay? Are you injured?” You heard Shouta’s voice sound. You turned your head to him and shook your head ‘no’; but you did tell him that the seatbelt had pressed into your shoulder hard. He nods and pulls his phone out to call for an ambulance and the police to come. You look at him with wide eyes. “We’re fine. We’ve traveled far and we should just unpack the car and get some rest. We’re both tired and I just want to sleep. I don’t want to go to a hospital.” You told him.

“Its still an accident. Even though its minor. The car is still drivable and the bumper is bent up but still attached to the vehicle. We still need to get checked out. I know you don’t like the hospital and I don’t like it either. But it’s the right thing to do.” He told you. Your eyes widened and you shook your head. "You can go to the hospital. I need to stay here and unpack the car." You spoke as tears pricked at the corners of your eyes. "I know that's what you want to do, sweetheart but you need to get checked out too." He told you and kissed your head. You nodded and unbuckled yourself from the car to get out as Shouta made the call. A couple people already staying in the resort came down to make sure that the two of you were okay and that the car was okay. You needed to use the bathroom so you went up with your keycard and went into the room to relieve yourself. You wanted to stay in the room but you held onto your backpack and went onto the balcony to see the flashing lights and the emergency medical team coming off the ambulances and into the parking garage. You sprinted out of the room and rode back down the elevator to catch Shouta instructing the medical team to go into the elevator as that’s where you had gone. He caught your eyes and walked up to you. “Hey, Y/n. We’re going to take a ride on the ambulance to the hospital, okay? I’m going with you and I’m not going anywhere, alright? I’ll stick with you for the whole trip.” Shouta spoke and held your hand as he followed the EMTs to the ambulance and helped you in.

You got to ride in the back of the ambulance with Shouta in a chair not too far from you. As you rode, you asked the medical team questions after they took in your information and your list of symptoms and current symptoms and conditions you have so the people working at the hospital would know how to treat you. You and Shouta arrived at the hospital and got checked out. Once given the all clear, told that you might have some bruising and would need to rest up for the next few days, you got a taxi cab back to the resort. You helped Shouta unload the car and get all you needed into the room. You sorted the food into the fridge before you showered on your own to help yourself unwind and get the smell of the hospital and the trip off your skin before you crashed in the bed next to Shouta as he was watching a show to relax before sleeping. The next morning you stiffly got out of bed and nudged Shouta awake. “I’m going to go for a walk down to the lake. I’ll be right back.” You told him.

“Okay, be safe. I’ll make coffee for us by the time you get back.” He said quietly. You nodded and kissed him before you got up and got changed to go for a walk. You came back a little while later and set your backpack down on the ground and took your shoes off, flinging them into a distant corner of the room. Shouta stood up and walked to the front hall where he found you sitting on the ground and peeling your compression sleeves off and chucking them in the same direction that you had tossed your shoes. He sat with you and put a hand on your back.

“Hey, welcome home, Y/n. How was your walk?” He asked. You told him the cool things you saw and pulled a rock you had found on the road and showed it to him and he looked at the rock and told you that he found it cool as well. You rubbed your arms and leaned into him. Shouta let you move closer to him as he could tell you were overstimulated and needed help to calm down from the events of last night that were still lingering in the back of your mind. You leaned against his chest and he rubbed your back, he asked you what you needed from him and you said that you just wanted to sit there for a moment and listen to the rumble in his chest that sounded when he spoke and he nodded, humming a tune as you pressed yourself against his chest.

He held you close for as long as you needed until you pushed yourself away from him and went into your shared room to pick out the clothes you wanted for the evening and carried them to the master bathroom. Shouta stuck close to you and followed you into the bathroom.

“May I help you bathe?” He asked. You turned to face him and you nodded, giving him permission to help you out with cleaning yourself from the dirt, dust, and sweat from the day. Water was also a calming sensation for you so after a long day like what you had today would be a good thing to help you unwind. 

“Do you want a bath or a shower?” He asked. You hummed thoughtfully before responding. “Bath.” You spoke as you worked at taking your clothes off and tossing them to a far corner of the bathroom. Shouta went to the bathtub and turned the faucets on, stopping the tub, and letting it fill.

“Do you want my scent or yours?” He asked as he looked at the body washes that you brought with you to bathe with. “My scent please.” You spoke as you covered yourself with a towel and plunged your arms as far as they would go into the tub as it filled up with water. Shouta squeezed out some of the liquid soap into the tub and stirred it around with your help to make some bubbles. You purred and enjoyed the warmth of the water as Shouta stood up and took his shirt and shorts off, leaving his underwear on to your preference when you didn’t want to fool around in the shower or bathtub.  He tested the water before he slid into the water with his back against the end of the tub opposite the faucet.

“Alright, honey, time to get in too.” He spoke and you whimpered. You know that the water would be nice but you needed to ease yourself in to not overstimulate yourself again. You slowly pulled your arms out before you stood up and took your towel off, revealing you had your bathing suit on only to make it fair to Shouta since he had to cover up, you stepped into the tub one foot at a time and he braced your legs as you slid down into the tub and leaned up against him. Once you were settled, you laid against his chest for a few minutes until he began to run his fingers through your hair gently.

“May I wash your hair?” He asked. You whimpered but nodded. “Be gentle. Head is sensitive.” “I know, my love. I’ll do my best to be careful.” He spoke and had you sit up and away from him a little bit. You crossed your arms and leaned forward, almost away from him as he grabbed your shampoo and conditioner from the ledge of the tub where you had placed them when you first unpacked and got settled in the room. He began to wash your hair gently and massaged your scalp which you liked very much. You purred and leaned into his touch as he massaged at the ridges in your skull.

“You must have a bad headache, honey. I hope I’m not hurting you.” He spoke as he lightened the pressure of his massage on your scalp which you pushed his hands down on your head firmer. “Feels good. Don’t stop.” You told him and placed your hands back into the water in front of you as you played with the bubbles in the water.

He continued to massage your scalp until you had relaxed enough that you were almost limp against him. He wrapped his arms around you and let you lay against him between his arms. “Do you want to bathe yourself or can I?” He asked. “I want to do it.” You told him in a slightly childish tone.

“Alright, Y/n. I need you to sit up so you can bathe yourself.” He instructed. You hesitated and sat up. You grabbed your puff and body wash before you washed your body with Shouta’s help to wash your back. Shouta helped you rinse off and let you soak for a few minutes longer before the water began to grow cold. He rubbed your arm gently and helped you sit up.

“I know you don’t want to leave the water but I don’t want you to get sick from the cold. How about this, I’ll make us some hot chocolate and warm up your favorite blanket in the dryer for a few minutes while you get changed, okay?” He suggested you looked up at him and nodded a little when he mentioned hot chocolate. “Okay. I’ll wait for my blanket too.” You spoke as Shouta helped you out of the bathtub and wrapped you in a towel that was fluffy and warm before leaving you be to get changed so he could do the things that he said that he would do.

Once you were changed, you plopped yourself in front of the dryer that had a window to see inside the dryer. You watched your blanket go around in circles for the ten minutes that your husband set the dryer for. Shouta chuckled when he found you in front of the dryer watching your blanket spin and get warm while you waited and he handed you a mug with hot chocolate and marshmallows in it and you accepted the warm drink and took a sip.

Shouta sat next to you and you leaned into him as you felt the warming sensation of the hot chocolate spread throughout your body. You closed your eyes to rest for a moment until the buzzing sound of the dryer brought you back and you set your mug down before immediately pulling the door of the dryer open and shoving your upper body into the warm blanket in the dryer, letting out a satisfied humming noise. Shouta smiled and rubbed your back as you nuzzled the blanket.

“Should I leave you here with the blanket alone for a few minutes?” He asked teasingly. You rolled your eyes and looked back at him before shaking your head no. You pulled the blanket out and wrapped the soft and warm material around yourself before you stood up and carried your mug back to the bedroom where you set it on the nightstand and climbed into the bed and fixated the blanket around yourself so you were comfortable. Shouta followed you into the bedroom and crawled into his sleeping bag and moved to cuddle next to you. You turned on the T.V. and found a movie which the two of you enjoyed for the rest of the evening. The End.

[artthemasquerade]

DVMNINKTOBER Day 11 Satan x Zennon

So I've been slowly, slowly been working my through this year's Devilman Inktober by nozoshii created for the community https://www.tumblr.com/nozoxshii/763169423585673216/i-made-a-devilman-inktober-prompt-list-for-the?source=share

For day eleven is fave pairing or duo and wellllllll, you all know that I have a lot of ships for Devilman so I decided to draw out five different pictures of each of my ships, Ryokira, Akira/Miki/Ryo, Satan/Zennon, Ryo/Miki and Akira/Miki and as I've said before I had gotten sick around the time I was working on the first of the pictures for this prompt and it really delayed things a lot and not to mention I was challenging myself a lot with these pieces, I want to really craft some good backgrounds like the old masters and while I don't think I've quite captured their ability to do those backgrounds I am pleased that I did go the extra mile for these pieces, I learned a lot making these especially since I was so limited in working in only black and white, so making sure the values were good was extremely important here!

The forth picture is Satan x Zennon enjoying each other's company on an cliff side, this piece referenced this Gustave Doré illustration for Paradise Lost https://www.pinterest.com/pin/87398048990638800/ for most of the background and a little bit of Satan's pose. I enjoyed painting this background a lot here, it was fun trying to work out how to make the rocks look good and I got to play with some different textures and effects here too. Satan's were tricky for me to draw as always but I'm happy with how they came out, you can see a little that I referenced the shape of Gustave's Satan's wings a little too.

Now for Satan and Zennon, unlike the previous three ships I've drawn this one doesn't really have anything in canon that actually points to this ship aside from my own brainrot theories about them! XD But because we have next to no idea about the depths of their relationship I can make up a lot of what they would be like as a couple! And once again we have some doomed by the narrative yaoi! :3

Satan and Zennon in my verse are so wrapped around each other that they understand each other so deeply but they are horribly co-dependent too. They are both horribly traumatized by their shitty fathers and yet slowly become exactly like their fathers despite all of their efforts. Both Satan and Zennon are beings who don't know how to live in peace, all they've ever known was violence and war. And yet that is something Satan craves so badly even if he doesn't 100% understand it yet and its the one thing Zennon can never give him. At least not without being able to unpack everything that's happened them both but that's not possible sadly.

In some verses I've given them children but events force Satan and Zennon to make their beloved children into child soldiers and make them as screwed up as they were despite Satan's reluctance to… That had helped to make their relationship colder than Zennon wanted.

Satan loves Zennon deeply but also feels smothered by his love too, and as time goes on Zennon gets more and more jealous and possessive of Satan in fear of losing him. And in a lot of ways he does…

And yet even Satan finds a new love(or two) he can't help but be still drawn to Zennon, after all, Zennon has always been loyal and stayed by his side…

I know I focused a lot on the tragedy of this ship but I also do love showing them being loving and caring for each other too, they've hurt each other but there was love there too…

I would like to one day explore their relationship in a fic or a comic since it is a relationship I like exploring it a ton.

[e-mmygrey]

History Must Repeat Itself - Chapter 6

Author's Note: hey everyone, thanks to those who're enjoying the story so far! (Ps this is definitely a filler chapter so I apologize for the stagnate vibes)

4.5k words 

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Rolling over, I opened my eyes. The sun shining through half closed curtains made me groan. Last night, I'd gone to bed early. I was exhausted. I was feeling the lack of sleep and stress I dealt with. Apparently, I'd slept longer than I was anticipating if the sunlight was any indication.

As soon as I was fully awake, my stomach started making noises. Shoving my feet into a pair of socks, I stumbled down the stairs. From the looks of the shoe mat, I was the only one at home which I guessed from the lack of sound in the house. Taking a glass from the cupboard, I saw a poorly written note from Madison, saying she was with Max and would call later. 

Watching the glass fill with water, I considered what today was going to be. Maybe calling Eddie to push off the homework sitting in my backpack. Tilting the glass back at my lips, a spiderweb reflecting in the sunlight caught my attention. We'd neglected cleaning since moving in. Guess today was a cleaning day.

After a piece of toast, I wandered back to my room. In the back of my closet were boxes, still packed up. I was used to not completely unpacking, always having some boxes ready to go. I didn't feel sentimental as I took things out and found a spot for them.

In the last box, I found a bleach stained pair of overalls specifically for cleaning days. I'd completely forgotten about them. Wrapping my hair up in a bun that looked almost like a bird's nest, I grabbed a Blondie cassette down to the living room. I cranked the volume once the piece of plastic was in its spot.

I ended up scrubbing and sweeping most of the house. Each job flowed into the next. I'd finish vacuuming and notice the kitchen counters needed cleaning. Of course, that reminded me to check. out the bathroom counters. The day continued like this. Finishing in my bedroom, I was exhausted. I took the scrunchie from my hair and shook it out with my fingers. I could take a quick nap.

---

The sky had gotten significantly darker outside from when I'd fallen asleep. Swearing, I sat up and jumped out from under the blankets. I hadn't meant to sleep the day away. My to-do list wasn't finished, but I'd do that later.

I was a little surprised at how quiet the house was. I assumed Madison would be home by now. She must've needed a ride from wherever she and Max were. There must be at least a dozen missed phone calls from her.

Leaning on the kitchen counter, I checked the voicemail. No new messages. My eyebrows twitched as I hung up. Madison knew better than to disappear for this long without letting me know where she was. Her stories of monsters and evil science labs bubbled in my mind. I rolled my eyes at my imagination. I don't think those sort of things repeated themselves.

Thankfully and no offence to my sister, Madison didn't have a lot of friends. There weren't a lot of places I needed to check. The obvious place to start was Max's. My thumb hover over the buttons. It was childish, but I didn't want to talk to Neil Hargrove over the phone. It made my stomach knot. I looked at my keys on the counter. A drive-by would have to do.

          I could see the Hargrove/Mayfield house lit up in the distance. All of the cars were in the driveway. I wonder if Neil actually let Madison stay for dinner. Turning my blinker on to pull to the curb, a familiar rumble roared to life. Billy's Camaro reversed from the driveway, screeching into the road. Glancing at the house, I tapped on the steering wheel. Rolling my car towards the house, Neil's voice echoed through the closed windows. Madison wasn't there. Max's step-father kept up his standoff-ish but not abusive performance when she was around. Seeing Billy drive away like that, I assumed he was going to pick up Max. As I'd learned this school year, Max equaled Madison.

I did my best to catch up with the Camaro without breaking too many speeding laws. That wasn't an easy task. If I wasn't as confident in my driving abilities, I would've lost him immediately. Well mostly. His exhaust pipe was beautifully kept, but it was loud. Knowing he had no idea I was trying to catch up with him, I pressed on the horn for a few seconds before flicking my high beams three times. He stuck his hand out the window, flipping me off. I rolled my eyes. Classy, Hargrove.

On the main road, we approached a red light and thanks to other cars waiting, he actually stopped. I switched lanes, effectively cutting off a BMW and pulled up beside Billy. He was already glaring at the bothersome car. His face softened and his eyebrows lifted in surprise. I pointed to an empty plaza that was a few streets ahead. He got the message and nodded. The light had barely changed to green when he pulled away from the line.

I shut the GTI off behind the Camaro and stepped out. Billy was already walking over to me. His jaw was pushed to the side and I could see the imaginary steam rolling off his shoulders. He wasn't in a good mood.

"Do you know where my sister is?" I asked in the mildest voice I could muster.

"Why the fuck does everyone think I know where those stupid girls are? I'm not their damn parents. And let me remind you, neither are you," he snapped with his finger in my face. I knew where the aggravation was from. His father had once again yelled at him because of Max, blaming him for wherever she'd run off to. I crossed my arms, tilting my head. I knew giving Billy any sympathy would put him in a more foul mood. Instead, I'd choose to ignore it.

"I'm aware except my parental figure disappeared and I don't exactly know where she is," I commented. "So, that kid's kinda my responsibility and I'd like to find my sister alive. Do you or don't you know where she is?"

His jaw flex multiple times as his gaze flickered around the plaza, at the few people passing by and finally, his gaze rested on my outfit. A genuine smile broke out on his face and he began laughing. I was surprised at the quick switch in emotion.

"Are you sure you aren't Madison's mother? You're sure filling the MILF role well."

I shook my head with a smile growing on my face.

"I'm very certain that child didn't come from me, but I'll take the compliment," I answered. He stepped forward with a raised eyebrow and my breathe caught in my throat. Did I read him wrong? Did I make him angrier with my sarcasm? Billy raised his hand and my heart stuttered. He tugged on some of the loose hair flying out from the bun I'd put my hair back in to.

"I couldn't imagine you owning a scrunchie, yet here you are." He leaned down and my eyes flickered shut as he inhaled my neck. "Smells like chemicals."

He straightened and I forced my eyes open. He stayed much closer than necessary.

"Someone has to clean the house. Like I said, my mother has gone MIA."

Billy's lips pursed, sliding his hands into his back pockets. "I'm going by the Sinclairs. You can come in the Camaro if you want."

"I think I'll drive my own car." I stepped backwards. "You know you drive like a madman?"

He laughed and wrapped his hand lightly around mine to tug me into his chest. He placed a rough kiss against my cheek.

"I'm very aware."

I shook my head, watching him strolled away. Billy was dizzying but I could see how he drew in every single girl and woman in Hawkins. He looked over his shoulder when his door was open.

"Race you."

My car was no match for the Camaro. I was glad to know where the Sinclairs lived because Billy disappeared in seconds. In similar fashion to my thought about Eddie yesterday, I wondered what this boy did to make me enjoy his company. Billy Hargrove was the biggest asshole I'd ever met. I've lived in eight states and I could say with certainty, there was no one else like him.

Weaving through traffic, I thought about the alone time I'd spent with Billy. He didn't laugh often. Not a full body, true or happy laugh. He wasn't physically affectionate. He didn't hug or even smile really, unless he thought it could lead to something. That boy could say sinful things to a nun without batting an eyelid. Yet his blue eyes and his stupid smile made me believe in a goodness could blossom without stupid Neil Hargrove around.

Billy was walking down the Sinclairs' driveway as I stopped at the curb. He glanced at me and held up a finger, walking towards the next house. I rested my hand against the handle as Billy adjusted his jacket and walking up the Wheelers' driveway. I guess the kids weren't there.

Mrs. Wheeler open the front door. A look of annoyance quickly disappeared from her face when she saw who was standing in front of her. Her eyes grew four sizes and I'm sure she completely forgot that her husband was somewhere inside the house. I leaned back into my seat as Billy glanced back, taking a step into the house. Scoffing, I tossed my hands out. Of course, he couldn't see me and I wasn't going up there for answers. 

Nancy's car wasn't in the driveway, meaning she wouldn't have a heart attack seeing Billy Hargrove inside her house. Not to mention, definitely flirting with her mother.  I dropped my head against the thick cushion, staring at the ceiling. Who blamed their teenage son for the responsibility of his step-sister? What was his motive for abusing Billy before Max and her mum were around? If the things Neil did to Billy were to make him a man, then there's no one more manly. He was athletic, muscular, handsome and attracted every woman within a mile, whether they were married or not. I don't know what his father was looking for, but if Billy stayed near him for much longer, it would kill any goodness that somehow had grown.

         It took another ten minutes before Billy headed back to the Camaro. He glanced in my direction, shaking his head. The girls weren't here. Crap. What the hell took him so long? Actually, I didn't want to know the answer.

Expecting him to come tell me where we were going next, Billy got into the Camaro and sped away. I shook my head, turning my own car key. Completely unsurprised by the rash action, I was grateful Billy pulled to the curb at the stop sign ahead. It seems he didn't want Mrs. Wheeler to know I was along for the ride. How chivalrous.

"I'm checking the Byers'. Follow me if you can," Billy barked, driving away before I could answer. Pressing down on the gas pedal, I flipped Billy off through his back window. His mood was still hanging around. 

          Slowing the car to stop myself from spinning out on the loose dirt road leading to the house, Billy sped even farther ahead of me. His brake lights illuminated then went dark.

As my car broke past the tree line, Billy had Steve Harrington on the ground. This wasn't going anywhere good fast. I shouted out a string of swear words, leaping from my car as Billy took a swift kick at Steve's face. 

"Billy!" He didn't look back as Steve groaned on the grass. I dropped to my knees beside him, ignoring a fuming Billy stalk his way up to the small house. He slammed the door open and let it bang shut but Steve still hadn't gotten up.

"Steve? Oh god, Steve? Please be okay."

I placed my hands on the sides of his face, pushing his hair back. Thank god for Billy's soft toed shoes. Anything worse would have done a lot more of damage. I whispered his name a few more times. Groaning, Steve sat up as the kids screamed inside the house and ceramics crashed. Shit. 

"Jess?" He grumbled. I reached under his arms, yanking him to stand. My attention shifted to the chaos inside. 

"We'll talk later."

The screaming drew Steve completely back into consciousness. He rushed up the porch ahead of me, stumbling a bit. Steve pushed the door open, holding his finger to his mouth. I nodded, heart pounding in my chest. The house I'd been to a few times revealed the living room. With their backs to us, half of the kids stood in the corner with the other half in the hallway. I placed my hands on Madison's and Mike's shoulders, making both of them jump. I pushed them further out of the room. I continued towards Billy looming over a shaking Lucas. I missed what Billy said to Lucas, trying to move Max and Dustin back too. Where were Will and his mother?

"No, you are," Steve said, winding his hand back.

As Billy turned at the voice, Steve's fist connected across his face. His head snapped to the side, but he started laughing. My heart froze at the sound. Lucas stumbled towards us during Billy's distraction, Max and I grabbing his shirt. I pushed him into the hallway and the other kids engulfed him in a hug.

"Looks like you got some fire in you after all, huh? I've been waiting to meet this King Steve everybody's been telling me so much about," Billy teased.

His eyes flickered to me for a moment as he continued taunting Steve. His gaze was dark and predatory. It was more than his regular bullying behaviour. He was scaring me, but I knew better than to allow him feed off it. The mumbling of the five kids behind me stayed at the edge of my focus.

"Get out," Steve said with finality, pushing lightly against Billy's chest. He licked his bloody lip, amusement still on his face. Without much windup, Billy swung but Steve was expecting it. It was a relief when he ducked the fist. As he rose, Steve threw another punch. I felt nauseous, seeing the two fight in such a confined space. Steve's fist connected and Billy's body thrown into the dining room table making me jump. There was nothing I could do to intervene without getting bruised.

"Yes! Kick his ass, Steve!" Dustin excitedly shouted. I sent a wide-eyed glare at him, but all the kids were cheering for Steve. I almost sputtered out a laugh if I hadn't heard skin connecting again. Billy now fell into the kitchen counter, more blood flowing down his face.

"He's actually going to win a fight," Dustin said in a low voice. Glancing down, I realised he was talking to me. I felt bad for Steve at how amazed Dustin sounded. Was he that bad at fighting?

Steve's next hit sent Billy further along the counter. Billy's continued humourless laughter sent shivers down my spine. He was splayed across the counter top, taking his time to rise. I noticed his hand twitch and I opened my mouth to let out a warning, but the plate made contact with Steve's head. Dazed, he stumbled towards Dustin. Dustin almost moved to catch him, but Billy approached from behind and threw another punch. I grabbed at Dustin the same time he back peddled. Steve smashed into the wall, stumbling into the living room. I cringed as a bit of drywall fell away. We were going to owe Joyce a new house after this.

Billy wrapped his hands around Steve's coat. "No one tells me what to do."

I began to take a step forward, but Billy smacked his head against Steve's. A gasp flew out of my throat. Hands wrapped around my arms. Max and Madison both spoke my name, stopping me from getting involved. We stumbled as a group backwards, Steve's body sliding across the floor. There was a sadistic grin on Billy's face and I was panicking. I don't know if Billy had it in him to stop, knowing he's winning. My first thought was to grab a knife, but I didn't want to kill Billy or giving him an easy weapon was not smart.

"Whoa! Get up."

Billy dropped on top of Steve's body, punch after punch across his face. My heart broke, and I was ready to walk over and grab ahold of Billy, knowing I'd get slugged in the process. But I had to get him off Steve. Billy was going to kill him. I could feel it.

I began to pull my arm from my sister's grasp when Max moved beside me. In slow motion, I watched her uncap a syringe and stab it in the right side of Billy's neck. Where the hell did she get that from? Reaching forward, I yanked Max backwards by her shirt. I wrapped my arm around her shoulders. Billy stood and faced his sister. His eyes flickered to me but his glare focused on Max. I held my breath, waiting for a reaction. His eyelids slowly shut, and his body began leaning back before ripping out the syringe. He took a step towards us and I tightened my hold on her, ready to step in front of the girl and deal with whatever Billy was going to do.

"The hell is this? You little shit, what did you do?"

As he started to take another step, whatever she'd injected him with sent him crashing to the ground. Max stepped out of my hold as her brother started laughing. It wasn't a normal laugh though. He sounded drunk. Grabbing a baseball bat from the ground, she stood over Billy with the bat poised above her head. I had to do a double take at the bat. It was impaled with construction nails. What the hell did I walk into?

"From here on out, you leave me and my friends alone. Do you understand?"

"Screw you," Billy muttered. Max hits the bat into the floor between Billy's legs. My heart jumped as the nails impaled the hardwood floor. He lifted his head enough to see the bat wasn't stuck into him. He looked almost terrified.

"Say you understand! Say it! Say it!"

"I understand."

"What?"

"I understand," Billy muttered again. His head stayed on the floor and in silence, we watched his eyes shut.

Now that Billy wasn't threatening anyone, I bent down beside Steve. His face was swelling, blood still pumping from it. He was breathing though, relief making my eyes shut. Max muttered something. I turned to the kids, my knees under Steve's head. They were all still staring at Max, mouths hanging open.

"Hey!" They shifted their attention. "Get me towels, water, and ice!"

I watched as all their brains restarted, scattering. Dustin handed me a blue towel from the ground. I pushed Steve's hair off his forehead as he turned his head, waking up a little. His eyes flickered open as Mike put a bowl full of water beside me.

"What're you doin' here?" Steve asked, closing his eyes again.

"I have a sixth sense for danger and fun," I joked, placing the wet towel over his cuts. "Couldn't let you do it alone."

Before he could answer, I felt the full weight of Steve's head against my thighs as he passed out again. All of the kids were covered in dirt. I gave the bat in Max's hand a pointed glare before looking back at Madison.

"Does this have to do with the story you told me?"

Madison nodded. "I didn't know you believed me."

"You told her?" Dustin asked, mouth hung open.

"You told Madison? Dude!" Mike smacked his friend's arm.

"Guys," I snapped before taking a deep breath. I looked at my sister. She was nervous, waiting for my response. Madison didn't know the extent of what happened in New Orleans, but she knew I was cautious about 'paranormal' stuff.

"Go do whatever you have to, but if you don't come home tonight or you're missing a limb, I'll use whatever damn almost adult powers I can muster and come kill you. Got it?" Madison nodded. I looked at the other four. "You got it?"

Max, Dustin, Mike, and Lucas looked at me with shock and disbelief. If it was because I was being calm, I was kinda shocked too. Apparently Louisiana made me more prepared for insane situations. But they nodded.

"You go," I said. "I'll take Steve to the hospital."

"No, we need Steve," Max said quickly. "You take Billy. Drop him off at the police station for all I care. Just get him out of here. I need his car too."

She was already holding up the Camaro's keys. I gave her a questioning look, which she gave me back perfectly. This child would be the death of my mental stability. I stood up and walked over to her. I placed my hands on her cheeks and squinted at her.

"Don't drive like your stupid brother. Be careful, and if you get pulled over, tell them you're taking Steve to the hospital. Cry like you've never cried before. Got it? Be hysterical. Come straight to my house afterwards."

Max smirked at me. "Got it."

I helped the kids get Steve into the back of the Camaro. He'd be fine. He was already starting to moan, the pain of his injuries waking him up. I shook my head, watching the thirteen year old drive off. I don't know what possessed me to allow her to drive. I must be traumatises from watching Billy beat Steve. In shock.

I hoped Max wouldn't wreck the car. There would be hell to pay if it came back with more than a scratch.

Going back in the house, I looked down at the unconscious Billy. It dawned on me there was no way I was going to be able to get him out of here by myself. I'd have to wait until he woke up. Hopefully, no one came home during that time. Turning back to the living room, I finally noticed the walls were covered in blue crayon-covered pages. It looked like streams or roads. Slowly, I walked around the house and followed each thick line. I couldn't make any sense of it. I returned to the unconscious teenager and bent next to his head, running my hand along his hair.

"What did you do?" I whispered. Billy's breathing continued heavily.

My eyes trailed across the ground, catching sight of the blood. These kids left a mess even when they didn't mean to. I didn't know how much sedative Max had injected Billy with and I didn't want to leave Will's mother with a mess. A sedative filled syringe, a baseball bat with nails, and a group of pre-teens who needed their brother's car with an unconscious teenager? I could assume whatever was going on, Joyce Byers was probably very stressed. With a water/bleach mix, and a new towel, I cleaned as best as I could. I guess my cleaning day wasn't over yet.

Let's hope no police showed up looking to investigate a murder.

        I jumped when Billy sat up, gasping for air. He began flailing around, his mind foggy from the drugs. The towel dropped from my hands and I carefully stood, trying not to spook him.

"Billy, it's me. You're okay," I said slowly, stepping around him. He stopped flailing, his wide pupils staring at me while his chest heaved.

"Where's that piece of shit?"

I didn't know if he was talking about Lucas, Max, or Steve.

"They're gone," I said to him carefully. "I'm going to take you home. It's not smart for us to be here. We need to go."

He stood up, but instantly began tumbling over. I lunged forward, wrapping my arms around his waist. A few moments later, Billy got his equilibrium back, chest heaving and stood up straight. Keeping one hand on his waist, I grabbed his other hand. He continued to lean on me for support as we stumbled down the porch steps.

Exiting the Byers' home, Billy begins to shake under my hands. His hand clenched around mine, causing me to look up at his face.

"Billy?"

Billy lunged forward, slamming into my car. Ragged and harsh breaths were coming from him. The sounds were concerning. He looked like he was trying to throw up but nothing was happening. I grabbed his shoulders, doing what I could to make him face me. He was angry, I could see that, but terrified too. Billy's wide eyes stared into mine, his hand over his heart. It dawned on me what was happening. I'd seen it before during people's first high. I moved my hands up to Billy's face, holding him steady.

"Billy, look at me." That felt stupid to say, he already was. "You're having a panic attack. I need you to try and calm your breathing. In through your nose, out through your mouth. Nod your head if you understand me."

I hated saying all the typical things that came with helping someone through a panic attack. But he nodded his head, so I must be getting through. Billy's hands rested on my hips. His breathing calmed, but the panic was still evident on his face. I needed to force his breathing to calm even more and move his focus from what he was feeling inside his chest and mind. It wouldn't be helpful if Billy passed out again.

Rising up on my toes, I placed my lips against Billy's. I kept it a light kiss, hoping the additional pressure would give him a place to focus. As I began to pull away, his grip tightened. Billy pressed closer to me, his lips moving.

Oh.

My eyes shut and my fingers held his jaw still. A chill ran down my spine as his hands slid around my back. My head was spinning. Kissing Billy was as good as I thought it would be. His lips were soft, but he was controlling the kiss. He was warm. Not just regular body heat, but a warmth that matched the good parts of him. A weight from inside me disappeared.

As much as I didn't want to, I pulled my head away from him. Now neither of us could evenly breath. Billy looked down at me, a smirk growing and his hand ran across my lower back. 

"Are you okay?" I whispered against his lips. Billy nodded his head. "We have to go."

Something in my words made his face drop. He released me and stepped away. Whatever drove him to attack Steve and Lucas, the anger built up on his face again. Our moment was over.

"I can drive you home," I offered in a low voice.

Billy scoffed. "I'm fine." He turned around and froze, seeing that his car was gone. "Where is it?"

My heart dropped. He was furious again. I stepped back, my body bumping into my car.

"They took it with them," I tried to say with confidence, but it came out as a whisper. Billy's face twisted and if the light was better, he'd be red.

"I'll call your dad and say Max fell asleep at my house. If you find her, you can drop her off at my place and if I see her tonight, I'll bring her home in the morning. She's out with her friends. Max is fine."

"I don't care if Max is fine," Billy growled. Without another word, he stormed off down the driveway. I called his name once but he didn't look back. I wanted to say more but it wasn't going to do any good. It'd probably make it worse.

This might be the weirdest night of my life.

I didn't know what else I could do. I didn't know where Max drove to with an unconscious Steve in the back. I couldn't believe I let that kid drive off. Standing in the middle of the Byers' yard, I was completely lost. 

[skz-streamer]

Stolen

Simptober Romance Tropes M-list

Pairing: Changbin (skz) x fem!reader

Genre: Fluff, maybe suggestive idk just one mention of it (not rlly)

Notes: I wanted this to be a little open ended but I think its still cute :)

-please read responsibly, and remember that this work is fiction and meant strictly for imaginative fun. the idols used in fics are more accurately face claims and personality outlines for imaginary characters, and should not be interpreted as factual representations of existing people

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You and your brother were inseparable

ever since childhood you two caused mischief

as the two of you grew older it was nice that you didn't really grow apart

obvi the two of you had your own separate life but it was nice to still be in good contact with him

for the summer you decided to stay over at his place

spend some quality time

you had a few friends who lived in that area too so you wouldn't necessarily be just w him

when you reached his house he showed you to your room, good he had a big apartment

a few hours later he invited a few friends over

he had told you about this and asked if you wanted in to invite yours but you said that you would probably be jet lagged so it was okay

you just wanted to stay in your room and chill

he promised that him and his friends wouldnt be too loud

you heard when they came over

it was hard to not hear them

your brother, Minho had a whole gang of crazy people as a friend group

you had briefly met some of them before, Han, and Jeongin you believe

but it sounded like a lot more then 2 people walking through that door

you had hoped to ignore the commotion and just stay in your room but a some point you developed a slight headache

you hopped in the shower but it didn't help

you decided to ask Minho for some meds

You threw on the hoodie you were wearing from earlier, to lazy to unpack.

you slipped on some underwear and headed outside your room

pulling your hoodie down your your hands while walking out

you felt all eyes on you as you closed your door behind you

Minho excused himself and asked if anything was wrong, he was so sweet at times

You said that you had a slight headache and just wanted some meds for it

he pointed out the meds cabinet and told you to just text him in you needed anything else, with that he squeezed your arms and plonked himself back on the couch

"my sister' he said

Jeongin and Han nodded to each other, they had seen you before

you smiled at his friends and introduced yourself

you wanted to wave but you felt that it was the safest to just keep pulling your hoodie down

walking around the island to the cabinet you thought about one of his friends

he looked so good

you wondered what his name was

he was wearing black hoodie, he had black glasses and had cute curly hair

and he was so fittttt gosh you wish you could just take a bite out of his muscles

FOCUS.

you told yourself to just get the meds and get out

you grabbed the bottle of Tylenol and filled a glass of water

you swallowed the pill and waddled your way back into your room

your eyes once again stopping on the mystery man sitting next to your brother

Changbin watched as your eyes scanned the room and stopped on his, you had a brief moment of eye contact with him before going back into your room

he smiled to himself a little

you were cute

he felt chan nudge him

"you like her right??...ooooo you have a crushhh"

"shut up" changbin replied

Minho gave Changbin a look

He had talked about his sister, all his friends knew he was hellaaa over protective around you

He only showed his soft side with you, and that said alot

Minhos phone chimed and he picked it up immediately

You texted him asking if he could bring you a hair dryer, Minho told Chan to go run to his room and give you one but Chan protested and told Changbin to go smirking at him in the processs

Minho texted back, gotchu :) Changbin will give you one

Thanks you replied back

Changbin rolled his eyes at chan but when he walked away he was smiling to himself

he quickly grabbed the blowdryer, he had stayed at Minhos place before so he knew where it was

He knocked on your door

"come in!" you yelled

you hated sleeping with wet hair, it was a. gross feeling for you

Changbin pushed open the door and saw you standing in the bathroom

By now you had pulled a few random clothing items from your bag so you threw on a random shirt and some shorts

Changbin introduced yourself and you blushed

this was your guyyyy

You grabbed the hairdryer from him and thanked him

Before he left you asked if he could dry the back of your hair

you could never dry it so you always asked your roommate

Changbin seemed a little shocked but he grabbed the blower while you flipped our head over

He guided his fingers through your hair, making sure to the section properly

you felt tingles every time his fingers would brush against your neck

as he handed the blowdryer back to you you thanked him once again

"thank you I appreciate it!"

"oh! no problem" he shyly chuckled

"Hey umm, your pretty cute...can I get your number?" you couldn't believe you actually said that

dating your brothers best friend was a new low for you

You hoped he would say yes, otherwise it might be a little awkward whenever you see him

"oh uh yea! I actually was admiring you too :)" he giggled back

you felt like you were floating

he really said yes!

The two of you exchanged numbers while giggling and Changbin walked out of your room

"you were in there for a while" Minho said

"yea she wanted help drying the back of her hair"

"oh yea, she could never dry that section" Minho mumbled to himself

With that Changbin sat himself down on the couch and smiled at the new contact in his phone.

CHANGBIN CODED THINGSSSS

Would literally pass away the moment you give/call him by a nickname

Literally the cuddle king, he would just wrap your whole body and squeeze you

just a big baby at timess

imagine your pouting at him an the just pouts back, awhhh he would so just match your energy

Obvi when he convinces you to go to the gym with him he literally starts running laps around the house

would literally SPOIL YOU>

like shopping sprees are insane, and he dosnt care about the money

if its for you, he'lll get anything ;)

@anny-bah@eee5533@mixtape-racha@weedforthoughtz@ren0325@felixvsp@hwangrimi @sanriiolino @painstakingly-juno@herarcadewasteland@dabiscrustyfeet@kai-jilee@sungiesoonie@slvtty4channiee@revelaffee@buckys-pillow, @staygirl86 @chlodavids@jinnie-ret@bbygrlhannie@rebecca-johnson-28 @turtledove824@interstellarairwaves@yearofthetiger25@minhos4thkitty@fiqire@kpopmenace143@liknws@tinyelfperson@aaasia111@yangbbokari@hafsah-ali@sleepyleeji@skzhoes@yamaguchiwestad@leonswifesstuff@nappynapnaps

[pebblysand]

Hi can you do me a prompt? Cause I LOVE your writing! 💗

Ginny comes home from the 2014 quidditch world cup-reporting after a long long time away from harry and kids!

did it take me two and a half years to fill this prompt? yes. as evidence that no one should ever lose hope.

.

spring rolls, pizzas and curries

.

Tonight, after she gets home - after a smiling kiss hoisted up to the corner of his mouth, tippy toes and tight hugs to the kids - after a warm shower and a change of clothes, they'll order in.

It's the end of summer, that year. Leaves wilting in the trees; the wireless runs repetitive adverts for Hallowe'en decorations and this morning, when he headed into work, Harry noticed an irreversible sort of chill in the air; when Ginny comes down later, her hair wet over her shoulders, she'll be wearing a jumper. Lily and Al will soon hound her with questions, about the World Cup and about Namibia or about something else, and James will hurry into the kitchen too, just as she will pour herself a large glass of wine. He will be loud and lanky and almost-teenage. 'Where's food?' he'll ask, then.

And: 'Well, hello, Ronald,' she will laugh. Say.

Chinese, Indian or Italian - the kids will have their pick. It's a long-standing tradition in the Potter household since the dreadful winter of '09, when James had the flu and Lily was sniffling and Harry spent five days battling family germs on his own until Ginny came back from a work trip to save them all. He tiredly sunk into the couch next to her and: 'You should have stayed there,' he observed. Sighed like a headache. 'You're gonna catch it too.'

She shrugged. Smiled. Laid her head on his shoulder. He didn't have the heart to push her away. 'Let's order in, yeah?'

Harry will phone in. Everybody's favourites memorised like the faded lines at the back of his hand. There will be noise - James arguing with Al over the TV remote, Lily talking to herself, playing with her animal figurines and toy soldiers. She's built a whole ranch with Playmobils in her bedroom: fake horses and fake cowboys and fake fences - her magic makes it all move of its own accord - it's a bit of a nightmare.

The kind of nightmare Harry doesn't mind having.

They'll eat pizza on the couch or nems from clear plastic boxes scattered across the kitchen table, and the kids will fill Ginny in on everything she missed. Lily won't stop chatting and 'Mum' this and 'Mum' that, and James will say: 'Oh, will you shut up for once?' One of them - or both of them - will automatically throw back: 'James, don't talk to your sister like that.'

There will be second servings, thirds. Harry will smile and laugh, and feel like a weight lifted off his chest the moment she opened the front door just as easily as he will later clear the plates, with a simple wave of his wand. Ginny will go up to unpack, and he'll try to convince the kids to go to bed - with moderate success. James will try to convince him he needs a new broom, with no chance of success. Al will wandlessly tie his brother's shoelaces together before quietly retreating to his bedroom, a loud tumble ensuing with his victim falling flat on his face at the top of the staircase. He will deny having done any magic the next morning.

'Prove it,' he'll say.

Harry will want to smile (like a headache, too).

And, you know, he wonders - sure - but he's not jealous. Being jealous of his own kids would be fucking weird and, anyway, he's over it, now. He's even stopped being bitter. Ginny hasn't stopped being angry but there's something almost comforting about it, about her anger and her capacity for unrelenting outrage when they sent Petunia a card last Christmas and she wrote back: Please, take me off your mailing list.

'Cunt,' she said.

He winced or cringed, he's not sure. 'Yup.'

He's not jealous - not bitter - but he does wonder. He wonders and thinks of James. So, so tiny, in Ginny's belly. The first time he felt a kick against the tips of his fingers and held his breath - like, forever. And Ginny, who asked why he couldn't sleep, that night, watched him puff cigarette smoke out the window. 'I'm nervous,' he said.

'I'm the one giving birth,' she laughed.

'What kind of father do you think I'll be?'

He thinks of James and he thinks of Tom, sometimes. His palm against the skin of her stomach was sweaty - like warm, summer nights.

And, he looks at the kids and he wonders. What it would have been like. Growing up like that.

With them, you know?

He thinks of James again. Of James and of Albus and of Lily. He wonders if they know. That he's happy. That they're happy. That he's not jealous or bitter or angry. And, that love tastes like food. Like strawberries on Ginny's lips, and spring rolls, and pizzas and curries.

[jeanie-g]

#28 drysdale and zegras "ghosts" the autumn mini fic list :)

sorry for the delay! i'm literally in japan rn lol. but here it is!

[#28] ghosts

Trevor didn't hate the house, but it certainly wasn't a place he'd ever imagine living in. It was old and gothic, and shaped sort of like an octagon if you walked all the way around. It had these big bay windows that arced menacingly, and a goddamn spire at the top. It was also far too large for just his mom and him, but it was better than the alternative.

Trevor had to remind himself that they were lucky, after all. What were the odds that Great-Great Auntie Heim would kick the bucket and leave the house to Trevor's mom right around the time his dad filed for divorce?

Sure, Trevor didn't hate the house, but he didn't have to like it, either.

He did get his own room, though. Right at the top of the stairs on the third floor, on its own level along with the sewing room and the attic. It was probably triple the size of his room in Buffalo, with a walk-in closet with double doors and a hardwood floor that creaked with every step.

It was sparse save for a bed in the corner, a nightstand, and a writing desk—all covered in a thick layer of dust. Clearly, nobody had stepped into this room in quite a while—a few years at least. It gave Trevor the heebie-jeebies. He wouldn't be surprised if it was haunted.

His mom wanted him to unpack as soon as possible, but Trevor didn't have it in him to play cleanup and probably hack up a lung while doing it. He dropped his bags by the door. He'd worry about it when it was time to sleep.

Bounding back down the carpeted stairs, he tried to ignore the sounds of his mom on the landline, no doubt arguing with his dad for the umpteenth time that week. He hated hearing them fight—in Trevor's mind, the one consolation of the divorce was that they'd be doing a lot less of it once it was in motion. That turned out to be fruitless fantasy. They were fighting more than ever now—about lawyers or assets, or—well, him.

Trevor'd wanted to stay in Buffalo with his dad. He never really faulted him in any of this—saw divorce as an inevitability, really. He didn't wanna leave his school and his friends and his team back home. But he was only 17, and his dad said that his mom needed him, so here he was.

The pitch of the one-sided conversation only sharpened by the time Trevor reached the bottom. He rolled his eyes and shoved his hands in his pockets; he needed to get out of this house for a bit.

It was windy in Syracuse, and a dull overcast hung above them like an omen. Trevor welcomed the breeze as he stepped outside and sat on the porch steps, closing his eyes and willing all the buzzing in his head to vanish.

He sat in silence for a few minutes before a voice sounded several yards away.

"So, you're the new neighbors, then?"

Trevor opened his eyes with a start, relaxing somewhat at the sight of a boy around his age standing beside the mailbox. He was too far away to make out any distinct features, but his dark hair and eyebrows stood out against the sky like spilled ink.

"You can talk, right?" The boy continued, smiling, and only then did Trevor realize he hadn't answered.

"Oh, uh, yeah." He flushed. "I mean, yeah we're the new neighbors." He stood, taking his hands out of his pockets. "And yeah, I can talk," he added sheepishly.

The boy chuckled. He walked a bit closer, and Trevor could better make out his face now. Pale, dotted with light freckles, with piercing blue eyes. He looked...soft was the only word Trevor could come up with. Well, that and cute, despite his best efforts. He was undeniably cute, and his smile was contagious.

"I'm Jamie," the boy said. "I live next door." He gestured to the house a bit aways from them—not too different from Great-Great-Auntie Heim's, but maybe a little more dilapidated. The purple tiling was cracked and sun-spotted, and some of the shutters were broken or missing. That was kind of par for the course for these old houses though.

"I'm Trevor. I live, well, here." Trevor cringed at himself, but Jamie just chuckled again.

"I would hope so, or I might have to call the cops and have you booked."

Trevor chuckled, hands finding his pockets again. "So, doing the mandatory welcome wagon, then? Did your parents put you up to it?"

Jamie blinked. "Oh, I don't live with my parents." He said it so nonchalantly that it threw Trevor off.

"Oh, um. I'm sorry."

Jamie smiled softly. "Don't be. They're fine, just back home in Toronto. We used to all come down here to see my grandparents, but now it's just me."

Trevor breathed a tiny sigh of relief. Phew—no dead parents. "Oh. Uh, that's cool."

"What brings you here?"

And Trevor had to immediately suck in a new breath. He turned and spotted his mom through the crack in the door, still ranting on the phone. She wouldn't mind Trevor airing their dirty laundry to their new neighbor, would she?

Trevor turned back to Jamie. There was no need to sugarcoat it, especially if they were going to be seeing a lot of each other. Plus, it'd be nice to be able to talk a bit of shit with someone who knows nothing about him.

"My parents are getting divorced. My mom wanted a new place but we couldn't really afford one. In comes my distant great aunt from stage left, and, well, here we are."

Jamie frowned. "I'm sorry. For your parents and your aunt."

Trevor waved his hand. "It was overdue, if you ask me. As for my aunt, we weren't that close. I think I met her, like, once when I was a baby. I'm surprised she left the house to us, really."

Jamie shrugged. "Life works in mysterious ways. Ana was a great woman, though."

"Right. You're her...were her neighbor. I should be saying sorry to you. You knew her better than I ever did."

Again, Jamie shrugged, but he said nothing else.

From inside, something crashed, followed by a string of curses half in English and half in Greek.

"That would be my cue to get back inside probably. It was really nice to meet you, though, Jamie."

"You, too," Jamie said. "I'll see you, eh? I guess I have a reason for coming around this house again."

Trevor grinned. "And what would that be?"

"New neighbor boy's a catch."

Trevor felt himself go red from head to toe. He managed a dizzying smile. "I...you're, a...too."

Jamie laughed, eyes crinkling adorably. "Right. Bye, Trevor."

Trevor couldn't manage another sentence in good conscience, so he just waved awkwardly as Jamie walked back down the length of the driveway.

Trevor turned tail back into the house as quickly as he could. He maybe slammed it a bit too hard. He had to fight the urge to slide down onto his ass like the protagonist of a bad teen movie.

"Who were you talking to, Trev?" his mom asked, hands full of mismatched cutlery—the likely culprit of the crash.

Trevor scrubbed his hand over his face, smiling tight-lipped. "Nobody. Just myself."

He strolled into the half-unpacked kitchen and sat down on one of the bar stools.

His mom sighed, almost to herself. "Not like we have any neighbors."

Trevor quirked a brow. He was literally just talking to one. "What do you mean?"

His mom went over to a drawer in the island and began depositing the cutlery. "Well, the only other house on this stretch of road is the big, purple one on our left—you know, a little bit down the road?"

An unsettling feeling nestled in the pit of Trevor's stomach, one he couldn't name.

"Realtor said the place has been abandoned for decades," his mom continued. "There was some freak accident, and now people are convinced that it's haunted."

Trevor's calves went cold, like a rush of wind ran against them. Didn't he close the door? "What?"

She shrugged. "I'm not one for ghost stories, personally. But if they are real, I just hope they're friendly."

Trevor forced a chuckle, though the sunken feeling in his stomach was compounding. He stood and walked over to the window above the sink.

This was stupid. This was so dumb. He'd look outside and there Jamie would be, heading back to his house. It was a quarter mile down the road—he'd still be walking.

Trevor approached the window and peeled back the curtain. He craned his head to the left, and—

His eyes widened. No Jamie.

He felt his calves go cold again.

[mads-weasley]

Shadows of the Gods

Hvitserk Ragnarsson x Eira Torsteinsdottir (OFC)

Series Masterlist

Main Masterlist

A/N: this is a little introduction for Eira and some of the other main characters!! :)

Summary: The aftermath of the first battle for Kattegat weighed heavily on its people, leaving them to pick up the pieces once Ivar came to power... some more than others.

Word Count: 1.1k

The cold wind of Kattegat cut through the town’s small cottages, the air subzero coming off the frozen fjord. While she hadn’t lived in Kattegat long, she noticed things were rapidly changing…things were quieter now. Shadows stretched long over the snow-covered ground, and a bad omen had fallen over the town since Ivar the Boneless’ rise to power. People moved carefully through the town, wary of the ever-watchful soldiers who stood at every corner.

Why stay in Kattegat?

It was a question she asked herself daily, and that day was no different.

Eira stepped carefully through the front door of the modest cottage, the hinges creaking in protest. The smell of sickness hung thick in the air. By the fire, a woman sat wrapped in a thick woolen blanket, her hands busy knitting even as a faint sheen of sweat clung to her forehead. 

“Don’t hover, girl,” Liv said without looking up. “I’m not dead yet.”

A soft smile tugged at Eira’s lips despite the worry pinching her brow. “I wasn’t going to say it, Liv, but you don’t look so far off,” she teased, unpacking her satchel.

Liv snorted. “I’ll take that as a compliment. A few wrinkles and a fever won’t do me in. The gods will have to try harder than this.”

Kneeling by the fire, Eira pulled out a handful of dried herbs. As she crushed them in a small mortar, Liv leaned back in her chair. Her sharp eyes watched her closely.

“You’ve got a quiet way about you tonight,” Liv remarked, her voice softer now. “What troubles you, Eira?”

Eira didn’t answer immediately. She focused on her task, the rhythmic motion of the pestle grounding her thoughts. Finally, she murmured, “Nothing new.”

Liv hummed knowingly. “Is it Vali?”

The pestle stilled in Eira’s hand and she glanced at Liv. “It’s alright to speak of him,” Liv said gently. “To miss him.”

Eira swallowed hard, her gaze dropping to the crushed herbs in the bowl. “I stayed behind that day,” she said quietly. “While he fought, I stayed here. I sometimes wonder if…” She trailed off, unable to finish the thought.

“If he would still be here had you gone with him?” Liv finished for her. “That is nonsense, my child. You’re a healer. You’ve no business dying in a battle when there are lives to save. Your brother wouldn’t want that for you.”

Eira busied herself pouring the herbs into a steaming cup of water. “He’s gone, Liv. And I…I didn’t even see him one last time.”

Liv reached out and placed a steadying hand on Eira’s arm. “We will see all the people we have lost again one day.”

“I hope you’re right.”

Taking the cup from Eira’s hands, Liv smiled. “For now, leave an old woman to her rest. There are others who need you more than I do tonight.”

“But what if I want to stay here with you?”

She raised a brow. “But I am right, yes?”

Shrugging, Eira began packing up her things into her satchel. 

“Of course I am,” Liv chuckled, her eyes twinkling despite the fever. “Now off with you girl, before I throw this tea at you.” She waved her hand in mock impatience, her laughter trailing after Eira as she stepped out into the cold evening air.

Walking toward the home of her next patient, Eira weaved through the streets of Kattegat. She went through a list of the homes she was still to visit in her mind as she went. Out of nowhere, a rough shove in her side soon sent her falling to the frozen earth, her satchel flying open and spilling jars of herbs along the ground. She let out a sharp breath, not from the pain but from the indignity of it. Clenching her jaw, Eira braced herself on her elbows and looked up.

“Watch where you’re going, healer,” he said, his voice dripping with mockery. He nudged the edge of her satchel with his boot, scattering the jars even farther. “Leave the streets to the warriors.”

Eira, still kneeling in the dirt, bit back the sharp retort that rose to her tongue. She didn’t have the luxury of making enemies here. She wanted to tell him exactly where to shove his so-called authority, but the steady reminder of the soldiers on every corner kept her words in check. She was no warrior, and she couldn’t afford to draw attention to herself. Not here. Not now.

That got you killed.

Still kneeling, she started gathering the scattered herbs, her hands moving briskly as the cold bit into her fingers. “I’m just trying to do my work,” she said flatly, not looking up.

The guard chuckled. “You should learn some respect. A wench like you should respect King Ivar, the god.”

A god?

Now Eira was truly lost for words. She reached up to her necklace, feeling the cold iron of her Freyja pendant. Ivar was not a god. Anyone with half a brain could see that. 

Standing to her feet, she brushed the snow off her hands. Then she saw him…Ivar the Boneless. His smirk sent shivers down her spine as he slowly limped down the street. Eira watched him go, his head held high, flanked by his ever-present entourage of guards. He seemed untouchable and believed in own delusion that he was a god. Those who walked in his shadow seemed to believe it, too. 

Ivar had killed Vali, even if not directly. Eira thought she’d gotten the upper hand against the bitterness that threatened to drown her, but seeing him brought it right back to the surface.

She quickly turned to go down an alleyway to escape the commotion, but she froze when she caught sight of a figure standing near the docks, watching her from a distance. It was a fleeting glance, a man with dark hair and a sharp gaze, but something about him made her pause. 

Eira didn’t know who he was, nor did she care. He was probably just another one of Ivar’s men, and if he was watching her, it could only mean trouble. With a shaky sigh, she pulled the satchel over her shoulder and turned down the alleyway. As she continued on her way, she ignored the growing curiosity gnawing at her. If she had learned anything recently, it was that Kattegat was no longer free like it was under Lagertha. And as much as she hated this new life, there was nothing to do but endure it. For now.

A/N: message or comment if you want to be added to the tag list! <3

[demons2003]

Fruity Four Adventures (Part 1)

Series List

“Let’s get moving already!!” Robin yells from my car, beeping the horn over and over to get me out of the house. I roll my eyes and look back into my old empty home. It looks as empty as always but it still feels like it’s missing something. Or like me leaving is making a difference to the place. As I move to close the door, to forget about this home once and for all, another horn sounds from my left. Speeding down the street is Eddie’s van, Nancy leaning out the window and waving at us. “Oh god,” I whisper and make my way over to my car.

“God she looks so hot right now,” Robin whispers as I move next to her and Eddie pulls into my driveway. “If you made a move by now then maybe she’d already be yours,” I whisper to her, earning me a push in the arm and a fond, ‘Dingus’. “What are you two gossiping about over here?” Eddie asks as he comes bounding down the driveway. “How bad your driving was. You could’ve really hurt someone driving like that,” Robin jokes. Eddie pokes his tongue at her and Robin gives him one back. Neither of them stops even after they should have.

“If you’re both done, I’d really like to get on the road already,” Nancy states while coming up behind Eddie. “Leave them be for a sec. I wanna see who wins this,” I laugh and walk over to Nancy. She rolls her eyes but nods. “They could stay like this forever if we don't step in to stop them,” Nancy says after some time has passed of the two of them just staring at each other with their tongues out. “You're right but if one of them stops now then we can finally start our journey and I can get someone some ice cream on the way,” I tease, hoping that Robin would stop.

Instantly, Robin looks over at us and smiles. “Well let’s get going already, I want some ice cream!!” She exclaims and ducks back into the car. Eddie turns to us and gives a triumphant smile. I smile back at him as he says, “Thanks for that, sweetheart. I just won.” I blush and shrug my shoulders, walking back over to the driver's side of my car and opening the door. “Get in your van so I can get out Eds, or no ice cream for you." Eddie's eyes go wide and he runs back to his car, grabbing onto Nancy on the way. I laugh at Eddie’s antics and shake my head, jumping into my car and starting it up. Getting ready for our drive to our new home.

In their Chicago Apartment

“It’s so big in here!” Eddie gasps out loud, spinning around a few times to take the place in. The rest of us give a giggle at his actions and put down the last of the boxes we’ve been bringing up. “It’s a normal-sized apartment Eddie,” Robin says as she lays face down on the couch, clearly exhausted from the moving. “Not to me. I’ve been living in a show box for my whole life. This is so much bigger,” Eddie says, moving over to the couch and landing on top of Robin causing her to groan. “Come on, help us unpack some of this stuff before it gets dark. We are going to need some of this tomorrow,” I yell over to the two of them as Nancy and I start opening a few of the boxes labelled ‘Kitchen Stuff’ in Eddie’s scribbly handwriting. “But we’re tired!” Robin yells back at me, poking her head above the couch and giving me her best puppy dog eyes. “Yeah Stevie, we wanna rest for a minute,” Eddie says next, doing the very same thing as Robin.

I look between the two and sign, turning around so I don’t have to look at them anymore and they don't notice my blush. Eddie woops in triumph and more ruffling occurs over near the couch. “You are way too nice to them both,” Nancy whispers to me as she moves over. I smirk at her and tease, “If they were looking at you, you’d be reacting in the exact same way Nance.” She scoffs and shakes her head. Before she turns away from me though I notice a slight blush spread across her cheeks. We work the rest of the kitchen stuff into its place and turn to find both Robin and Eddie asleep on the couch. “They really were tired from all the driving and the moving,” Nancy whispers to me and walks over to the two of them. “Yeah, they’ll never lie about needing to sleep,” I whisper back and sit down on the loveseat next to the couch.

“They look really cute like this,” I whisper over to Nancy who is sitting on the coffee table facing them as well. She nods and runs her hand through Robin's hair without noticing. Robin groans a little but doesn’t stir too much. “Should we leave them here and finally go to sleep?” Nancy asks, turning slightly to face me. I shrug and look over at the two of them. They switched places before they got to sleep. Eddie is now lying on his back with Robin lying on his chest. My two favourite people sleeping together. So nice. “Nah, they’ll be cranky if we let them sleep all night on the couch,” I whisper and walk over to the three of them.

Nancy takes her hand off Robin and I start to shake her, trying to slowly wake her up. She groans and digs her face more into Eddie's chest, causing him to groan out as well. “Come on you two, you need to get into your own beds,” I say, shaking Robin again while Nancy starts to tap Eddie on the forehead. “I’m comfy here though,” Eddie wines, swatting at Nancy’s hand. I laugh at him and start to help Robin up. “If you get up now you can sleep in my bed then?” I ask, not really understanding why the thought made me a little nervous. Robin gives me a tired confused look while Eddie gets up excited. “Really?” He asks all excited and almost knocks Robin and me down in the process. “How about I take Robin to bed and you take Eddie to yours?” Nancy asks, giving me a very confused look. I blush and nod my head, moving Robin over to her. “Make sure she is on her side, she’ll kill me if she doesn’t fall asleep like that,” I tell Nancy as I let Robin move over to her. She nods at me and leads Robin towards what might be Robin’s new room.

I turn to Eddie to find him looking at me like an excited puppy, with no sign of sleep anywhere on him. I smile and gesture toward the hallway. He immediately runs in the direction of a bedroom and out of my sight. I laugh and slowly walk down the hall, noticing Nancy tucked into a bed with Robin in her arms. Dam they are really cute together. I look into another bedroom but find it empty so I continue on until I find Eddie already curled up in a bed, slowly falling back to sleep. I smile at him again and crawl in behind him, trying not to wake him from whatever he is dreaming about.

[runaway-dreamers]

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Enjoy Right Now, Today

Word count: 1,300

Summary: Won't you please stay, neighbor? It's hard to forget, I know. There's space for you here. Space to exist as you are.

After

Wally Darling X (GN) Y/N

🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

Through the cracks of drawn curtains, lines of light reached inside the darkness of my home. In the deep orange tones danced tiny specks of dust. I watch them lazily move through the air as they twist and twirl before dropping slowly into the pits of darkness below. This blanket drapes over me sweetly, tucking me in and offering comforts that tempt me to fade from these feelings of unrest. My sadness weighs on my shoulders and as I pull the blanket over my head, I find my vision filling with faint snow.

I return to the uncertainty and unrest of my fitful dreams. In this home of mine I am unpacking, all is well! I am smiling, I am giddy from the warm spring breeze. There is something hopeful in my chest as if flowers had begun to bloom in the stuffing inside of me. Something beats faintly in my chest causing me to drop a box of my things. Miffed, but not yet unhappy, I huff and place a hand on my chest. I press down only to feel nothing. That is until I felt another faint beat.

Unsure of what it was that made its home within me I forced myself to move forward. My smile returns but it does not meet my eyes. The gentle shining sun that warmed my back has receded leaving me cold. I get a strange feeling that I do not belong here. I bent down to pick up the few books that tumbled from my dropped box. Confused, I found a worn photo album. Tears form in my eyes but I can't remember where it came from. Was it mine? Someone else's? This wasn't making sense.

I sat down on the grass and cracked the book open. Inside were pictures filled with puppets and places. Each face where there once existed eyes, ears, and maybe noses were replaced by a swirling vortex. I didn't recognize the faces within this album. A shudder wracked my body and I sobbed. A wave of grief and sadness overwhelmed me as I bent over the book and shed tears over people I did not know. The beating thing in my chest twisted and chilled as I cried here alone in my garden.

A glass jar had been placed over me and I began to suffocate in this stagnant air.

I awoke from my already fading dream with tears in my eyes. Silence filled my home occupying every bare space and empty spot. Boxes remain untouched in these varied rooms. The to-do list keeps growing! The to-do list keeps me bound to my bed. My mind repeats the steps running through the scenarios each time. To my surprise it never plays out differently. Something somewhere must always go wrong. When it goes wrong in my mind I feel useless. I lay here wrought with the awareness of my own incompetence.

Inside my room there is no clock. My window is covered with a thick blanket blocking out any sun or moonlight. Time has no relevance the longer I stay here. I awake at odd times and often do not get up, I only await the fatigue to drag me back to my slumber. I pulled the blankets closer to me as I felt a chill run up my spine. A knock rips through the silence. I froze at the sudden intrusion, was it even real?

Two more knocks rang through the hallway and into my room. The next sound was the sound of rustling blankets and the creaking of the floors as I took one gentle step out of bed. The weight of myself stung as I stood. A rush of fatigue washed over me like water weighing me down. I wanted only to collapse back into bed. I stood for a bit trying to gather myself. Soon I took a careful step forward and sighed as the next one became easier. Slowly I made it to my bedroom door, down the hallway, and into my barren living room. Through the curtains the sun was on full display managing to chase away the chill as I stepped into the warm light.

My eyes shut as the tension melted away. I took a deep breath and exhaled fully. My hand gripped the doorknob and carefully turned it until it clicked open. Today was especially bright, and especially warm. Golden rays washed over me as the breeze filled my home with the scent of sugar and flowers. Blinking away the blurriness, I made sense of the shape just outside my doorway.

"Hello! My name is Eddie and I am the neighborhood's one and only postman. Welcome home." His voice was one filled with warmth. He smiled at me as if not expecting me to immediately respond. He held out a colorful flier for me to take. I took it gently and gave him a small smile. I glanced over it and saw a smiling sun.

"It's an invitation to come to one of Sally's plays at the end of the week. Bring your own blanket and snacks! The whole neighborhood is coming. We would all like it if you came, too." Again, his voice was friendly and warm. I felt a stirring in my chest.

"Oh, uh, yes. That sounds lovely, but I really must finish unpacking! There's just so much here to do.." Even I knew what a cheap lie that was. Eddie furrowed his brow but didn't seem upset.

"Hey, neighbor, I was the new guy in town before you got here," he squeezed the strap of his bag, "adjusting can be hard. The static is so hard to see through. Please, take all the time you need. Everything at your own pace."

"Static? You.. Can't see past the static?" I looked into Eddie's eyes searching for an explanation. He just smiled at me. I felt that there was no answer he could give. Maybe that was fine.

"You'll find your place here in no time at all. It's going to feel as if it was waiting for you all the while." His smile went ear to ear and he laughed.

"Ah, I see. Thank you, Eddie. Oh, My name is Y/N."

"It's very lovely to meet you, Y/N. I'll see you around!" Eddie waved and turned to leave. His steps were purposeful and confident. He had come here and found a spot just for him. As I watched him go I felt the familiar budding within my chest. I can let go now, can't I? And stay here?

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a deep blue swirl. Turning to look across the street I see a smiling face with downturned eyes looking over at me. When he sees me returning his stare, he smiles brightly and waves with enthusiasm. His hands are covered in spots of dried paint. He is sitting at an easel with his canvas facing his home. From what I can see there were paint stains on his clothing and face, too, all in an array of vibrant colors. I stare for a bit before I notice him giggling to himself. Embarrassed, I wave back and quickly return to my home.

Inside I feel the discomfort growing. The dark has crept back up. I huff and comb a hand through my hair. I set about opening all of my curtains and cracking open each window. The flowery smell fills my home chasing away my despair. The shining sun filled my home with golden light filling me with the ghost of determination. This disruption to my loneliness shook something inside of me. I spent the rest of the day unpacking my living room and kitchen, occasionally catching glances of my neighbor at work on his easel.

[borrowedtimeandspace]

Suitcase of Memories

24. Memory

From this list of gt prompts

AU: Time After Time (Twelve AU); direct continuation of "The Second Hand Unwinds"

Note: I LIVE. I can't say these will be frequent, but I do plan on finishing out all these gt July prompts. Eventually. Hoping I can build momentum back up!

~~~

"You haven't aged a day," the Doctor observed, shifting the pad of his thumb ever so slightly to brush the tears away from Zepheera's very tiny cheek. "I assume. Considering your vastly extended lifespan, which it seems you still have. Though I've been getting subtle hints lately that I might be a bit biased in my perception of–,"

"I see you still ramble on." Zepheera gave a tearful chuckle. Such emotional vulnerability was a rare thing for her these days, but it simply couldn't be helped now that she was talking to her long lost friend. "New face, same old Doctor."

The corner of his lip gave the slightest tug, as though a smile snuck its way there before it thought better of it and retreated. He felt her grip on his thumb relax, and he slowly turned his hand palm-up next to her.

"How long has it been for you?" he ventured to ask.

Zepheera ran her hands down her face, pulling herself together a little before climbing into the offered hand. She focused on settling in the middle of the living platform to delay answering the question.

"Honestly? I sort of stopped keeping count after a while," she said as the Doctor slowly drew back from the shelf and turned toward his desk. Then she glanced his way, finding his frown deepened in concentration. "You?"

The Doctor hesitated himself, as though lowering his hand to the surface of his desk required so much focus. "The same," he answered at last, once the back of his hand had come to rest there. 

Hopping off of his hand, Zepheera fixed him in a knowing look. "Is that a lie, Doctor?"

"Yes."

Zepheera nodded. As the Doctor carefully took a seat, she began meandering about the desk. He noticed that, while her gaze wandered to all the things he kept there, her feet moved at a confident pace. She moved as though she were having a walk around a familiar neighborhood rather than exploring a new place. It wasn't new for her.

"I suppose I can estimate," Zepheera admitted as she drew close to the picture frames. She focused more on her own reflection in the glass than the faces she'd grown accustomed to seeing there. For her own sanity, she tried not to think too hard about what had separated them all that time ago. She tended to overanalyze those moments, pretending that there was something she could have done differently that would have changed things. As such, she'd packed those memories away as best as she could.

She supposed now was as good a time to unpack them. Who would understand better than the Doctor?

"That thing… it sent me back in time. To a different place."

"Bad habit of the Weeping Angels," muttered the Doctor with a bitter bite to it. 

"Dropped me in Dublin, 1929. I waited, but you didn't show up, so I reckoned it didn't get to you. After that, I felt like it was my job to get back there, to the time and place where I lost you. Catch back up to just after the attack, and pick things up where you left off. Even if it took 80 years.

"But… it found me before I could."

"Before?"

Zepheera gave a helpless shrug. "Best guess is, my first encounter with it wasn't its first encounter with me. I remembered you said they feed off all the days you might have had, and…I guess it could tell I had plenty more to give. It was like it could sniff me out, or maybe it sensed the time travel energy on me, but every time I got close it managed to find me and zap me to the same time, but a different place."

"All-you-can-eat potential energy loop." Realizing he'd said that out loud at probably an insensitive time, the Doctor cleared his throat and sat back in his seat, lacing his fingers in front of his chin. "How'd you get out of it?"

With a sigh, Zepheera turned her back to her reflection and leaned against the frame. She hugged herself around her middle as she studied the grain of the wood desk, dredging up a not-so-distant memory.

"I had help. The third time it sent me back, I managed to run into someone in the same boat as me. Another undying snack for an Angel." Remembering herself, Zepheera glanced up to meet the Doctor's gaze. "Captain Jack Harkness says 'hi', by the way."

The Doctor nodded in understanding. It had been a good long while since he'd run into Jack, but he could see how he would end up in such a predicament. "I trust he behaved himself."

That got a dry chuckle out of Zepheera. "Strictly business there," she assured him, recalling Jack's flirtatious disposition. "Really, it was lucky we ran into each other. I happened to be there when he got shot back to Liverpool in the 'fifties. Since we couldn't beat our Angels individually, we came up with a plan to lead them on, somewhere remote where we could trap them. Trick them into staring each other down for eternity. It was quite clever. You would have been proud." 

Any trace of a smile melted when Zepheera remembered the tough choice she had to make, and she once again found it hard to maintain eye contact. "Except, in order for it to work, we had to lure our Angels far away. I had to give up on meeting back up with you, the one place and time where I knew you would be. And of course, by the time we finished and I made it back, you'd gone."

A pregnant pause extended between them. At least as far as the borrower was concerned, the rest was history. Zepheera shook off the oddly heavy feeling that had come over her.

"Look who's rambling on now," she chuckled, running a sheepish hand through her short brown hair as she shifted her weight away from the picture frame. Desperate to change the topic, she said, "So… new face, eh?"

The corner of the Doctor's lip tugged into the slightest dry smirk as he considered her observation. "Second one since the one you knew."

"Still you, though," Zepheera stated without an ounce of uncertainty. That much she'd always known.

"Same software, different case," the Doctor mused, gaze softening and sliding toward the corner where the TARDIS stood.